Friday, September 26, 2014

A Bruised Reed He Will Not Break

While suffering from depression back in the 1990s I was painfully aware that I had become a broken, shattered person, a shadow of who I had been.

From my diary, 10th April 1990:
I once saw a spider that only had four legs,
The poor thing had lost the others somehow.
Yet the spider, a creature of instinct, did not even know,
It just kept struggling, vaguely aware something was wrong,
But not knowing what it was exactly.
That’s how I feel.

And 15th May 1990:
Self-hate keeps descending upon me like a swarm of angry hornets.
I look at myself and find nothing but contempt for this pathetic person I have become.
But I know this is wrong,
If I examine myself through the eyes of Jesus, I see someone special,
I see how much He loves me and cares for me,
How much I mean to Him.
And that He understands.
But knowing these things does not take away these feelings,
Feelings of self-hate, feelings of depression, of despair, and doubts.

And 18th May 1990:
I wish You were here on Earth, Lord, so I could go to You.
I would ask You to take compassion on me,
And heal my wounded spirit.

The fact was that Jesus was with me, holding my hand and comforting me. And one of the greatest sources of comfort was His word. In this post I would like to share a particular passage of scripture that brought me great comfort, a prophecy from Isaiah about Jesus. (God the Father is speaking.)

"Here is my servant whom I have chosen,
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope."
Matthew 12:18-21

The latter part of this passage spoke volumes to me. I could think of no better description of someone suffering from depression than to portray them as a bruised reed or smoldering wick. That was exactly how I felt - bruised and battered, with my passion and zeal for life virtually extinguished, leaving nothing behind but a smoldering ember.

It reassured me greatly to know that Jesus held me gently in His hands, a bruised reed He would not break but restore to wholeness. How wonderful that although there was nothing left of me but a smoldering wick, He would take the time to gently fan that flame back into life. And that is exactly what He did. Jesus healed my bruises and rekindled my life flame, making me whole once again.

Jesus knows how frail we are.

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
Psalm 103:13-14

Yet even so, He treasures us so much that He gave His own life for us.

The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

How comforting to know that those who follow Him are held safely within His hands, even in the midst of life’s trials and storms.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.” John 10:27-28

All verses from the NIV.

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    1. It's a blessing to realize weakness if it opens the door to God. Sounds like that's what occurred in your life. When life is too big for you, there are Hands to carry you. Beautiful post.

    2. Praising GOD with you that HE holds each of us "bruised and shattered" in the palm of HIS hands. He never leaves us or deserts us. Praise GOD when HE is all we have...HE is all we need.
      Blessings and prayers, andrea

      PS: I have an urgent prayer request on arise 2 write.

    3. Peter,
      I am that bruised reed--this post speaks volumes to me..I would appreciate your prayers as I seek Him with all my heart--thanks again--you are ministering to so many...
      love that song as well--an oldie I had forgotten...

    4. Thank you, Peter, for continuing to share your struggles and show us how God was, and is encouraging you through His word. I love the worship song too.

    5. Peter, I am so very sorry you continue to struggle! Glad you are able to post about your struggles, as it gives encouragment for all. God has His hand on you! Blessings dear one.

    6. Hi Madison, thanks for the encouragement. I certainly never wanted to go through depression, but I thank God for going through it. Through it I came so much closer to Jesus, my faith matured, and I was set free from so much baggage that kept hindering my walk with Christ.

      Thanks for sharing the prayer request, Andrea, I've been lifting up prayers too. And what a wonderful God we have, He is indeed all we have and need. I can honestly say that apart from Christ, I have nothing and am nothing.

      Hi Sita,
      Been praying for you everyday, my friend, so glad the post could minister to you. My wife and I are musicians at our church, and we often lead that song.

      Hey Lynne, yes, the words of Spirit Song are just so full of truth and the Holy Spirit, I never grow tired of singing them to Jesus.

      Thanks JBR. I'm just glad that God is able to use the struggles I had with depression back in the 1990s, plus all the stuff I deal with on a daily basis (epilepsy & deafness) to encourage others. God bless :)

    7. What a comforting post. It is a blessing to know God is with us. I too suffer from depression so can relate.

    8. Peter, it is amazing how events in our life, change us forever. What you experienced in the 90's has opened a door for you to minister to others who are on a similar journey. My Tamara is still str uggling, but has re-entered school. It is great we have a program in my city for people who struggle with learning disablities, to be able to get help to move on in their journey.

      thanks for your post and I am glad you kept a journal.

    9. What a comforting post to remind us Who our Greatest Comforter truly is when we are weary and battered by the storms in this life's journey. Blessings.

    10. Your writing is always encouraging to me and I hold your friendship very dear. Love the John 10 verse! I was hoping you would share music with us that touches you; I haven't heard that song recently and I enjoyed it again.

    11. So true, Peter. Powerful stuff God has given you to minister. Also, I used to sing that song from the top of my lungs from all that was within me when I was a troubled teen. Thank you for the memory. He is the only One who can truly satisfy our souls, but it's so hard to grasp that sometimes. I'm bruised but safe in His hands.