tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30152991043626852332024-03-13T18:19:14.068+11:00Do not let your hearts be troubledOffering practical advice and words of comfort to those suffering from depression and anxiety, in the hope of helping them to cope with depression and recover. Written from a Christian perspective.Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-80084006821950408522018-04-02T07:44:00.000+10:002018-04-03T14:46:47.013+10:00Breaking Depression's Fear CycleIn the previous article, <a href="http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.com/2010/02/learning-to-face-distressing-symptoms.html" target="_blank">(Learning to face distressing symptoms instead of dreading them) </a>I discussed the importance of facing depression’s distressing symptoms rather than fearfully shrinking from them, as explained by Dr Weekes, <i>'I have no doubt that you are tensely shrinking from the feelings within you and yet, are ready to “listen in” in apprehension?...Now examine and do not shrink from the sensations that have been upsetting you. I want you to examine each carefully, to analyse and describe it to yourself...Do not tensely flinch from it. Go with it. Relax and analyse it…Now that you have faced and examined it, is it so terrible?'</i> (1) That is, although we are initially convinced that we cannot possibly live or function while these symptoms rage within us, the fact is that after we have faced them, we realise that we can still live and function with them.<br />
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Once we have faced those symptoms and robbed them of their power, the next step is to put into practise a technique that will break depression’s ‘fear-adrenalin-fear cycle,’ as Doctor Weekes calls it. <br />
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<b><u>The Fear-Adrenalin-Fear Cycle</u></b><br />
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The cycle works like this: we react to depression by fearing, fleeing or fighting it. These reactions cause too much adrenalin to flow, and it is this adrenalin that causes depression’s symptoms. We are so desperate to get away from these symptoms that we fear, flee and fight even more, which in turn produces even more adrenalin, which prolongs symptoms and produces new, even more alarming ones, which we fear, flee, and fight, and the cycle continues. <br />
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It is crucial that we recognize that it is this cycle that causes depression’s disturbing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sensations/symptoms, and that by breaking that cycle, we can eventually be free of them.<br />
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Below I outline a system that can slow and eventually stop that excessive flow of adrenalin. The system is simple and presented quite clearly in God’s word, yet it is so ‘unnatural’ that it does not occur to us when lost in a state of anxiety. (The natural reaction to depression is to fear, flee or fight the symptoms.)<br />
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<b><u>How to Break the Fear, Flight, and Fight Cycle: </u></b><u></u><br />
1. Accept each of depression’s symptoms as being part of our life, instead of fearing, fighting or fleeing them<br />
2. Learn to live with the symptoms as part of our life as if they were background music<br />
3. Let time pass while trusting that God is in control (2) and keep ourselves constructively busy.<br />
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Our first reaction to these steps could be, “But I don’t WANT to learn to live with these disturbing sensations - I want them to go away!”<br />
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And there lies the irony of it all. It is only when we accept those sensations, learn to live with them, and let time pass, that the flow of adrenalin begins to diminish, as it the very reaction of desperately wanting them to go away that makes them worse. And as the flow of adrenalin diminishes, the symptoms lose their intensity, shorten in duration, and slowly begin to disappear. Accepting them instead of fearing or fighting them is the way to make them go away.<br />
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The Bible teaches us time and again that we should not be anxious, and it is not just because anxiety is the opposite of peace and trusting in God, but because God knows just how much fear and anxiety harms us. Here are scriptures that illustrate this technique of breaking the fear cycle by accepting, being content, and letting time pass.<br />
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Here are some reflections in my diary about putting this technique into practice:<br />
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<b><u>Verses for Acceptance:</u></b><br />
<i>Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. </i>James 1:2-3<br />
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<i>Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. </i> 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18<br />
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<i>Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. </i> Philippians 4:6<br />
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<b><u>Verse for Learning to Live with the Symptoms:</u></b><br />
<i>‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.’ </i>Philippians 4:12-13<br />
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<b><u>Verses for Letting Time Pass while Trusting that God is in Control:</u></b><br />
<i> “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” </i>John 14:1<br />
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<i>Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. </i>James 1:12<br />
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<i> “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” </i> Matthew 6:25,27<br />
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<i>Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. </i>Proverbs 3:5. <br />
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While I was depressed, although I knew the Bible said I should not fear, should be content, and should rejoice in the midst of my sufferings, trying to put this into practice through sheer will power alone did not work. However, once I understood that putting those Bible verses into practice would break the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle, those verses suddenly came alive to me, causing hope to spring forth like spring rains after a drought. <br />
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<b><u>It Takes Time for a Nervous System to Heal</u></b><br />
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Note that breaking the flow of adrenalin does not happen overnight, it is a gradual process that occurs over time. However, my life is a testimony to the fact that it does happen. Dr Claire Weekes says, <i> “Accept it [the symptom] as something that will be with you for some time yet – in fact while you recover – but something that will eventually leave you if you are prepared to let time pass and not anxiously watch the churning during its passing. But do not make the mistake of thinking that it will go as soon as you cease to fear it. Your nervous system is still tired and will take time to heal, just as a broken leg takes time.” </i> (3) <br />
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It is important that we keep ourselves busy as we let time pass while our nervous system slowly starts to heal. We need to go out of our way to find engaging, constructive activities and hobbies that interest us. Physical exercise, such as swimming, aerobics, circuit, walking or jogging, can also be of great help.<br />
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Within two months of reading “Self Help for Your Nerves,” a significant number of my symptoms, especially the physical ones, had greatly reduced in severity or ceased altogether. Over the next six months, I joined a new church, became a musician in a home group, started teaching Sunday School, and engaged in normal social activities again. Some symptoms took longer to fade away than others, but by reacting to them in the correct way, they no longer had the same power or intensity as I no longer feared them. Some symptoms, especially the mental ones such as panic attacks, lasted longer, but in time, they too faded away. Counselling was a crucial step in helping to deal with these, by helping me to retain my thought processes and gain new Biblical perspectives on the things I feared.<br />
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While stuck in depression, we think we have no future and no hope, but that is a lie from the kingdom of Satan, for in Christ we always have hope and a future. <i> "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." </i>1 Corinthians 2:9.<br />
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Hope enters our lives again when we know it is only a matter of time, whether weeks or months, or in the case of some symptoms, years, for our nervous system to recover from this cycle. After reading “Self Help for your Nerves,” my diary entries went from being bleak and full of despair, to containing hope, like this entry:<br />
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28th July 1990 - <br />
<i>This book has taught me how to react so that the merry go round will be stopped. And it’s teaching me how to react whenever it strikes again in the future. </i><br />
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<u><b>The Importance of Surrender</b></u><br />
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To recover from depression we need to surrender every aspect of our life, including our desires and will, to Jesus. Romans 8:28 assures us that God is trustworthy and can bring good out of any situation. ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ <br />
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We sing, “All to Jesus, I surrender,” but do we really surrender everything? (I am pointing a finger at myself here too!) For when a storm of life comes along, instead of surrendering every aspect of the situation, including our desires, to Him, we typically react by fearing, fleeing or fighting - because we do not want to be where we are. Yet, by reacting like this, we make the suffering worse as this causes more adrenalin to flow. <br />
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Even in the midst of the storm called depression, when we accept what we are going through instead of fearing, fleeing or fighting it, when we learn to live with it, and let time pass, we can find rest and experience inner peace again. <i>"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." </i>Matthew 11:28.<br />
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(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p21.<br />
(2) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p19. Note, Dr Weekes includes 'floating' as a step in the treatment technique, whereas I wrote 'learn to live with it.' In my case I found the 'floating' concept hard to grasp, but easily related to that step (or my interpretation of it) when I thought of it as 'learning to live with it.' <br />
(3) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p22.<br />
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All verses from NIV.Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-74635466101686920442018-03-29T00:52:00.000+11:002018-04-03T14:48:12.981+10:00Dealing with Panic Attacks<u><b>What is a Panic Attack?</b></u><br />
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A panic attack (also known as an anxiety attack) is a relatively brief episode of intense fear that comes on suddenly, where the person is both terrified of the physical symptoms that are afflicting them as well as by the associated fears that either triggered or accompanied the attack.<br />
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A panic attack typically lasts for at least ten minutes but can stretch on for much longer, even hours or days if cyclic in nature. Cyclic panic attacks are where a person is subject to a continuous cycle of attack after attack, with a new attack triggering even as the previous one is fading away. <br />
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The fears associated with a panic attack are strongest when the attack begins. These fears demand our attention, yet the more attention we give them – the more we fear them - the greater they become. Fighting, arguing with, fearing or trying to flee the panic attack and its disturbing symptoms causes negative adrenalin to flood our being. This in turn causes even greater anxiety and even more disturbing sensations to afflict us during the attack.<br />
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In my case, a typical panic attack included an increased heart rate, flushed face, increased temperature, shortness of breath, chest feeling constricted, a complete lack of peace, and an intense churning/discomfort in the stomach. These physical symptoms were accompanied by a terrifying fear that was so vivid and threatening that I would often ‘scream’ in my mind. Many sufferers wail or scream quite loudly during an attack.<br />
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<u><b>What triggers panic attacks?</b></u><br />
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A panic attack can be triggered by an extremely stressful or fearful situation, or even by an exceptionally terrifying fearful thought. Subsequent exposure to the same situation or fearful thought may trigger further attacks. Being afraid that another attack may come increases the likelihood of them striking again.<br />
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The stress of trying to making an important life decision can also trigger a panic attack. (See below for how this can affect Christians in particular.)<br />
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Panic attacks can even trigger without a cause, however, in these cases, the mind typically searches for a reason for the attack, and may latch onto a fear which then becomes the associated fear for that attack. It is typical for the mind to latch onto a fear that has terrified the person in the past.<br />
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A mind prone to anxiety is the perfect seedbed in which a panic attack can take root and flourish. Some people by nature have a sensitive nervous system, which can be due to past or recent traumas or even due to genetic inheritance. However, those suffering from depression are especially susceptible to panic attacks as their minds are locked in a state of constant anxiety. <br />
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1 Peter 5:8 is a perfect description of how panic attacks operate. <i>'Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.’</i> Although Satan has been defeated by Christ’s victory on the cross, he masquerades as a roaring lion and tricks people into believing that panic attacks have real power and can devour them, when in fact they have no power at all. <br />
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<u><b>Dealing with Panic Attacks</b></u><br />
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In late July, 1990, I read ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ by Dr Claire Weekes, which taught me all about the ‘fear-adrenalin-fear cycle,’ (1) and how the more we fear, flee or fight panic attacks, the worse we become as the additional adrenalin produced prolongs symptoms and produces more disturbing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sensations. It is a very vicious cycle.<br />
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To recover from panic attacks we need to break this cycle.The AWARE Technique is one effective method used by many to break the cycle:<br />
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<u><b>Breaking the Panic Attack Cycle using the AWARE Technique:</b></u><br />
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<b>A- Accept</b> the panic attack. Do not fear it or fight it. Fearing or fighting it just makes it worse. Just let it be there for now, like background music. Do not be afraid that you may have more panic attacks in the future. Let them come.</div>
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<b>W- Watch</b> the panic attack, by rating it right now on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worse it has ever been in the past, and 1 meaning it has gone. Remember all anxiety attacks follow a pattern in that they increase to a peak and then decrease and stop. So do not be alarmed at its intensity during its worse phase. It will pass.</div>
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<b>A- Act normal </b>Carry on as normal. If you are currently engaged in an activity, concentrate on that activity. Otherwise, find something constructive to do, such as going for a walk, weeding the garden, washing the car. If you stop being active and focus on the panic attack and the fearful topic associated with it, it will suck you in and it will get temporarily worse. However, if you carry on as normal, choosing to focus on something else, the panic attack will start to fade.</div>
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<b>R- Repeat</b> Let time pass and keeping repeating the above three steps until the panic attack has faded away.</div>
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<b>E- Expect </b>Expect the best and remember that this panic attack will end soon just like all the previous ones did. Furthermore, expect each future attack to reduce in severity and duration, the more times you react to them with the AWARE technique. Eventually, you will no longer fear them and will be able to nip them in the bud before they start.</div>
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To help with future attacks, write this on a card or print it out and keep it in your wallet/purse:</div>
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<b>A- Accept</b> the panic attack. Do not fear it or fight it. </div>
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<b>W- Watch</b> the panic attack, by rating it right now on a scale of 1 to 10.</div>
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<b>A- Act normal </b>Carry on as normal. Do not stop being active and therefore focus on the panic attack.</div>
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<b>R- Repeat</b> Keeping repeating the above three steps until the panic attack has faded away.</div>
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<b>E- Expect </b>Expect the best and remember that this panic attack will end.</div>
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<u><b>I used to say this little summary to myself when hit by a new panic attack:</b></u><br />
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Peter, you're having a panic attack,<br />
Just accept it, (don't fear it or fight it,)<br />
Learn to live with it, <br />
And let time pass. <br />
<br />
<i>(</i><i>These steps are a practical application of Bible verses Philippians 4:12-13, John 14:1, James 1:2-3. If you would like to read further Bible verses to deal with panic attacks, ie, that illustrate the above technique, please read this post, <a href="http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.com/2009/11/breaking-depressions-fear-cycle.html">Breaking Depression's Fear Cycle.)</a></i> <br />
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<br />
After I read ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ whenever a panic attack hit me, I said to myself: “Peter, you're having a panic attack. Don't fight it or fear it, just accept it, and learn to live with it, don't debate it and argue with it, and let time pass, and it will fade.”<br />
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To my amazement, the above technique worked, as it broke the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle. First the intensity of the attacks reduced, then their frequency grew less, and finally I found that in most cases, I was able to nip the attack in the bud before it could take off.<br />
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Another thing that can help when afflicted by an annoying re-occurring panic attack is to share the panic attack topic or fear with a wise Christian friend, so that we can get a fresh, healthier perspective on the issue. Although a fearful thought may seem larger than life to us, our friend will see right through it. In this case, trust their perspective, not our own fearful one. (A word of caution, it is not wise to continually run these fears past our friends, as this will not only drive them crazy, but in time we need to learn how to find a fresh perspective ourselves from prayer and Bible study.)<br />
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Another small note: if you suffer from panic attacks and you simply cannot put into practice the steps I have outlined above, I recommend seeing a doctor. If the doctor recommends anti-depressants and professional counselling, consider the advice carefully. Anti-depressants dull the effects of depression and panic attacks and this is a huge help in overcoming them. (See my entry, Depression, Christians, and Anti-Depressant Medication.)<br />
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2 Timothy 1:7 <i>‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.’</i> (Amplified Bible)<br />
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<u><b>Panic Attacks and Christians</b></u><br />
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Unfortunately, for some Christians, a panic attack caused by the fear of making the wrong life choice has another insidious dimension to it. Since they cannot control it or make it stop, and because it is accompanied by a distinct lack of peace, they erroneously misinterpret the panic attack as God guiding them. A common expression <u>not</u> found in the Bible is, “Let the peace of God guide you.” It embarrasses me to admit that for many years I thought panic attacks were God guiding me.<br />
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Mistaking panic attacks as being God’s guidance actually makes the panic attacks worse, as such Christians in their eagerness to obey God are (unnecessarily) terrified of disobeying Him. A verse which used to torment me when I resisted and fought against a panic attack was 1 Samuel 15:22 <i>“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD. To obey is better than sacrifice.”</i> As I drew closer to depression as 1989 wore on, I had an attack and lost my peace every time I was faced with a major decision. Every time I tried to take a step forward, an attack (which I misinterpreted as God’s guidance) would send me reeling two steps backwards. In the end, I was too scared to make decisions any more. 18/2/1990 – <i>I’m scared to commit to anything, such as joining a new church, getting a girlfriend, buying a computer, etc, in case He says no. It’s got to the point that I won’t do anything in case God says 'no.' </i><br />
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Can you imagine the relief I felt when I discovered that panic attacks were not God’s guidance, and that ignoring them was not disobeying Him?<br />
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The most bewildering aspect of mistaking panic attacks as God guiding us is trying to work out exactly what God is trying to say (since He is not actually saying anything). When severely depressed I was frequently afflicted by cyclic panic attacks over a period of months. These were associated with a large range of fears, most telling me that I was supposed to be doing this or that. Here is a diary entry showing the exasperation I felt at that time.<br />
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15/3/1990<i> – I feel like saying, “What sort of God are You to do this to someone, and why don’t You speak clearly? All You have to do is speak to me or give me a vision, etc, and I’ll obey, but what is this ‘Guess what I’m saying with the hit and miss affair [when I take away your peace to guide you.]’ ”</i><br />
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Before I became depressed, one thing that reinforced my belief that losing my peace due to a panic attack was God’s voice, was that every time I gave into the panic attack fear, the attack ended and my peace returned immediately. For example, once I was about to leave my job, enter part time ministry and look for a part time job. The massive panic attack which followed ceased as soon as I decided to turn down the offer for part time ministry and remain at my job.<br />
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However, when I became clinically depressed, giving into a panic attack and doing what it appeared to be 'saying' no longer stopped the attack. The attack just kept coming back, normally by switching immediately to another fearful thought, or topic. This was because while suffering from depression, we are in a state of constant anxiety. This was when I got my first real clue that the attacks and the lack of peace were not God’s attempt to guide me, but something else. Being convinced of this was another matter entirely.<br />
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<i>“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."</i> John 8:32<br />
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Finally in April 1990 I saw a Christian counsellor. She told me that I was suffering from depression, and assured me that the panic attacks and lack of peace were NOT God attempting to guide me. She said that I had been placing my trust in following a lack of peace as guidance – “It’s always worked before” – instead of in Him. Through her counselling, prayer and Bible study, the Lord taught me the following truths, which set me free from the erroneous belief that panic attacks were God guiding me. <br />
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Isaiah 9:6 <i>‘For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.’</i> Jesus is the Prince of Peace, <i>not</i> the Prince of a lack of peace.<br />
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John 14:27 <i>“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”</i> It does <i>not</i> say “My lack of peace I give to guide you.”<br />
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John 14:1 <i>“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”</i> <br />
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So if the Bible does not say, “Let the peace of God guide you,” what then does it say should guide us?<br />
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Psalm 119:105 <i>‘Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.’</i><br />
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Proverbs 3:6 <i>‘in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.’</i><br />
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James 1:5 <i>‘If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.’</i><br />
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In conclusion, we need to make our life decisions prayerfully, with wisdom based on God’s Word, and we need to do so while dwelling in His peace with an untroubled heart.<br />
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A small footnote here. Our heart can of course be troubled without suffering a panic attack – our heart can be troubled by a great number of things. For example we may have agreed to take on one too many jobs, causing such stress that we cannot relax or sleep properly. To reduce our workload here would be the wise choice. This is a case of noting the warning signs of our mind and body and taking appropriate action. <br />
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If we are feeling pressured, rushed, or stressed out by any circumstances, we need to step back, meditate upon God's Word, pray and seek His guidance. In such times, we need to wait upon Jesus to receive His rest for our soul. Matthew 11:28.<i> “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” </i><br />
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Now although I was relieved to know that the panic attacks were not God guiding me, the attacks continued relentlessly and with almost as much power. My nervous system was still exhausted, and I was still reacting to the attacks in the wrong way - by fighting and fearing them. Freedom from the panic attacks came when I read “Self Help for Your Nerves,” as I mentioned above.<br />
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(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p10.Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com159tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-32572011961414824152018-03-28T00:10:00.000+11:002018-10-11T14:15:23.672+11:00Letting Go of Past HurtsPast emotional, mental or physical abuse, or being deeply hurt or mistreated by a friend or an enemy, are common causes of depression. I have had my share of such experiences. Bitterness, anger and unforgiveness are typical responses to such injustices suffered, but as these reactions hinder our walk with Christ, the Bible gives us ample instructions on how to overcome them.<br />
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Let me also mention here that in many of the above cases, especially where abuse is involved, getting help from a trained Christian counsellor or a professional health care worker is very highly recommended if not absolutely necessary.<br />
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<b>Keep No Record of Wrongs</b><br />
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Isaiah 43:18-19 <br />
<i>"Forget the former things;<br />
do not dwell on the past.<br />
See, I am doing a new thing!<br />
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?<br />
I am making a way in the desert<br />
and streams in the wasteland.”</i><br />
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This passage provides a vivid description of a life damaged by past hurts – a life that has become a wasteland, a desert. Dwelling upon a record of wrongs weighs us down and heavily burdens us. But the Lord’s instructions to forget those former things and not dwell on them, comes with a beautiful promise. Letting them go releases streams of living water into our life and enables God to do a new work in us.<br />
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One of the greatest new works Christ does in our lives is to bring us to a place where we can forgive those who have hurt us. This is such an important aspect of our daily Christian walk that Jesus included it as part of the Lord’s prayer. Luke 11:4 <i>“Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.”</i><br />
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Instead of dwelling on past hurts, we can let go of those memories and forgive the person that hurt us. Although we cannot make ourselves forget the memories, if we stop clinging to them the painful associations will fade significantly. <br />
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1 Corinthians 13: 4-5 <i>‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.’</i><br />
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<b>“But it is Part of Who I am…”</b><br />
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One reason I had trouble letting go of past hurts was because they had become part of my identity. “I am this way because of how that person mistreated me,” was an excuse I believed. I feared that if I let go of the anger and record of wrongs and forgave the person who had hurt me, I would lose a part of myself, part of my very individuality. <br />
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However, Jesus taught me that such fears were unfounded, that I did not have to hold onto past hurts in order to maintain my identity. He showed me that there was another option - to allow His love and forgiveness to flow from me towards the person who hurt me. And when I did this, instead of anger and the record of past wrongs being part of who I was, Christ’s love and forgiveness became part of my identity.<br />
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If someone were to meet me and hear my testimony now, they would not hear me say, “I am this way because of how that person mistreated me.” Instead, they would see that I have forgiven the person who wounded me, and in fact love them dearly with the love of Christ. If they were to ask me how this could be so, I would answer, “I am this way because of Christ’s work of love and forgiveness in my life.”<br />
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When we let Christ's love and forgiveness become part of who we are, we change and become more like Christ. And is that not our goal, to become more like Him? <i>'It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.'</i> Galatians 2:20 (NLT) <br />
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As we learn to surrender our lives to Christ, He can give us such a powerful revelation of His love for us that we can view others through His loving gaze rather than through our own eyes. I have experienced this very powerfully in my life.<br />
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Let us be like Stephen, whose attitude towards those who unjustly stoned him to death was: <i>‘While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.’</i> Acts 7:59-60<br />
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What a wonderful testimony this is to the power of God’s love. When others see us forgive - even love - those who have hurt us, they see the power of God’s kingdom in action, and their lives are changed too. I have heard of many cases of abusive prison wardens in Soviet countries coming to Christ after witnessing the unconditional love and forgiveness of their captives. <br />
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<b>Harbouring Unforgiveness Hurts Ourselves</b><br />
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If we have been deeply hurt by someone in the past, we earnestly desire to flee that pain and be set free from the wounds. A thought that I would like us to bear in mind is that by consciously or unconsciously harbouring anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness towards that person, we unwittingly participate in keeping those wounds fresh and unable to heal. That is one reason that Jesus spoke so often of the importance of forgiving those who have wronged us. By not forgiving them, we hurt ourselves even further. <br />
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<b>To Forgive Others, Reflect On How Much God Has Forgiven Us</b><br />
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The most liberating Biblical truth that helps us to forgive those who have treated us unjustly is to recognise the depths to which God has forgiven us. <br />
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Why does the Bible say, <i>“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,”</i> Matthew 6:14? It is because for us to refuse to forgive others after God has forgiven our massive debts towards Him, shows a lack of appreciation of how much God has forgiven us. <br />
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We all know of the parable in Matthew 18:21-35, where a servant who owed millions of dollars to a king, had that debt cancelled when he asked for mercy. The servant then went on to throw a fellow servant that owed him a few dollars into prison, because he had not paused to reflect on the mercy the king had extended towards him.<br />
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This is the key to forgiving others, as Selwyn Hughes writes: ‘I would not judge you or condemn you if you said: “I can never forgive that person for what he (or she) did to me.” But what I would say to you is this: the more you reflect on the wonder of how much you have been forgiven the easier it will be to forgive even the worst sins that have been committed against you.’ (1)<br />
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So, regardless of how much we have been hurt by others, let us forgive them. If God forgives us of our numerous sins towards Him, we can forgive others of their (comparatively) lesser sins towards us.<br />
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And then we will be sons and daughters of God, revealing His nature to a hurting world, as it shows us in Luke 6:35-36 <i>“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High…Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”</i> <br />
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(1) Every Day with Jesus, Monday 18th Feb, Selwyn Hughes, CWR, Jan/Feb 2002.<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a><br />
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All verses from NIV unless noted otherwise.<br />
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<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-62103495699737608692018-03-15T00:44:00.000+11:002022-12-18T20:01:04.534+11:00Has God Abandoned Me?“Has God abandoned me?” or "Why has God abandoned me?" are desperate cries from the heart of many, whether stuck in the depths of severe depression or struggling to deal with a major crisis such as a personal tragedy, chronic health problems, even the destruction of lifelong goals.<br />
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After floundering in the depths of severe depression for over three months, I wrote this in my diary:<br />
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10th April 1990 –<br />
<i>I see others who live and prosper,<br />
And yet here am I, stuck in this dark prison cell.<br />
Jesus, where are You? Please see my circumstances,<br />
Please hear my prayer.<br />
Please set in motion Your answer, Your solution.<br />
Why have You abandoned me?<br />
Why do You remain silent?<br />
I’ve waited and waited, yet I am met with silence. </i><br />
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Someone suffering from depression typically loses interest in life, experiences a sense of overwhelming dread, has terrifying obsessive fearful thoughts, and also panic attacks, insomnia, guilt, confusion, anger, and a dozens of other disturbing symptoms. A depressed Christian also tends to loose the ability to feel God’s presence, cannot take comfort from His Word, and can no longer feel His love.<br />
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If struggling with severe depression or a major life crisis, we may also look at our dire circumstances and jump to the conclusion that these terrible things have happened because God has abandoned us. We cannot comprehend how God could still be with us and yet allow us to undergo such suffering.<br />
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Here is another entry from my diary:<br />
28th Feb 1990 – <br />
<i>Dear Jesus, I continually get angry with You.<br />
Why have You allowed this? Where are You?<br />
How long will You remain silent? Why won’t You heal me?<br />
I know what You are capable of, yet You do nothing – why? </i><br />
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We may become frustrated, worried and angry when it feels like God’s Word no longer seems to be working, and when He does not seem to be honoring His promises. We wonder if God has left us to fend for ourselves. We cannot understand why He will not answer our desperate prayers – can’t He see what we are going through? Doesn’t He care?<br />
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My diary, 14th June 1990 –<br />
<i>The Heavens remain silent, <br />
and this both angers and disappoints me.<br />
I thought I felt Jesus say that He is carrying me through this.<br />
But how can I be sure?<br />
And if He is, why won’t He let me feel His presence?<br />
Why won’t He help me? <br />
Where is His Word? Where are His promises? </i><br />
<br />
Another common reaction is to fear that we have let God down in some major way, wondering if we have stepped outside His will by disobeying Him, or have committed an unforgivable sin. We wonder if this was sufficient cause for God to turn His back on us and abandon us. And if we get angry with God for letting us go through this inexplicable suffering, devastating guilt may follow these bouts of anger. We may even think that we have lost our salvation and are no longer a Christian.<br />
<br />
From my diary, 20th July 1990:<br />
<i>Experiences like the past eight months <br />
almost make you wonder,<br />
it makes me wonder if I am one of His children. </i><br />
<br />
Some Christians suffering from depression or a major crisis say: “It feels like God has abandoned me! I can’t feel God’s presence anymore.” Or, “Why has God abandoned me?”<br />
<br />
There are two common threads weaving through what I have written above:<br />
<br />
1. We may look at our <i>circumstances</i> and leap to the conclusion that God has abandoned us, and/or<br />
2. We can look at our <i>feelings, </i> and because we cannot <i>feel</i> that God is with us, we conclude that He has abandoned us.<br />
<br />
<u>So what can we do when we feel or fear that God has abandoned us? What can help us get through this phase?</u><br />
<br />
<b>Recognise Our Feelings are Deceiving Us</b><br />
<br />
When stuck in the midst of severe suffering, we need to recognise what a friend once told me, “We can’t see properly in times like this. Our feelings completely distort our world view and vision.” It is as though we are wearing extremely dark glasses all of the time. Although light surrounds us, we cannot see it because of the dark glasses.<br />
<br />
<b>We Must Not Trust Our Feelings</b><br />
<br />
Bearing in mind that our feelings have become distorted, we must remind ourselves daily that we cannot trust our feelings nor pay them any heed – they are tricking and misleading us. This is hard, I know, because throughout our lives we have learned to listen to our feelings and let them guide us to some degree or another. But what may work for a healthy person does not apply to someone suffering from depression. We need to learn not to place any significance on what we are feeling, and recognise that we may remain in this condition for a while. But be encouraged, this phase does not last forever. When our exhausted mind and nervous system heal, whether this takes months or years, our feelings will return to normal. We will feel God’s presence and love again, and we will take comfort from His word again. <br />
<br />
<b>We must not use our Circumstances as a Basis to Conclude that God has Abandoned us</b><br />
<br />
We need to realise that our circumstances are not an indication of whether God is with us or not. We Christians sometimes fall into the error of thinking that while things are going well, God must be with us, but when our world falls apart, it means that God has abandoned us.<br />
<br />
Nothing could be further from the truth. Firstly, the Bible assures us that God will never leave us nor forsake us. Secondly, it tells us that we will face trials, and that God will use these for good in our lives, and that He will comfort us in and through them. <i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’ </i> James 1:2-4<br />
<br />
<i> ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ </i>Romans 8:28<br />
<br />
<i>Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. </i> 1 Peter 5:7<br />
<br />
<b>We Need to Keep Things in Perspective</b><br />
<br />
We need to remind ourselves that this world and its troubles are only temporary. We who trust in and cling to Jesus have a wondrous hope – one day we shall spend eternity in heaven and see the face of God and Jesus everyday - a perfect place filled with love, joy and peace. We will also have a brand new body that is perfect in every way.<br />
<br />
When I consider the unimaginable, eternal riches that await us in heaven, the temporary trials I endure on the earth fade into insignificance.<br />
<br />
<i>Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.'</i> Romans 8:17-18<br />
<br />
<b>Trust in What We Know, Not in What We Feel</b><br />
<br />
<i>So if we cannot rely upon our feelings nor upon the way in which we interpret our circumstances, what can we rely upon? </i> We can rely upon what we <i>know</i> and <i>believe. </i><br />
<br />
We <i>know</i> and <i>believe</i> that God is with us (although we can’t feel it), we <i>know</i> and <i>believe</i> that He loves us (although we can’t feel it), and we <i>know</i> and believe His word is all powerful (although we can’t feel it and things seem to be out of control). We know these things because the Bible tells us, and because the Holy Spirit in us testifies to that fact. For now, it is enough to know God is with us, to know that Jesus loves us, and to know that His Word is all-powerful. It does not matter than we cannot feel these things while depressed or our world view has been distorted by suffering.<br />
<br />
In reading through my diary entries, it is interesting to see that although I lamented that I felt abandoned by God, in those very same entries, I also concluded that I knew He was still there and still cared for me. I was learning to rely upon His Word instead of upon my feelings. <br />
<br />
13th May 1990 –<br />
<i>The Bible says to consider it joy to endure trials,<br />
I must say that there has been no joy in this trial.<br />
It defies any previous experience known to me.<br />
But I’ve been forced to trust God <br />
when it seems like He has abandoned me.<br />
I have been forced to come to a place <br />
where I have trusted Him without feeling like doing so.<br />
All I want to do is cry out that He had abandoned me, <br />
that He is not faithful.<br />
But He is faithful. And I know that. <br />
He is faithful and true. He is Jesus. </i><br />
<br />
14th June 1990 –<br />
<i>I feel so like Job. <br />
“Curse God and die!” my thoughts yell at me.<br />
“Look at this suffering! <br />
How can He be faithful, <br />
when He’s apparently done nothing <br />
for six whole months now - curse Him and die!”<br />
<br />
But God is faithful, and I know that – <br />
it is His name – Faithful and True. </i><br />
<br />
<b>Bible Verses that we can Rely Upon</b><br />
<br />
Feelings can change like the wind and are colored by our circumstances, and circumstances can also come and go. However, God's Word remains constant, it never changes. Let us look at some of those Bible verses now – verses we know are true and can be relied upon.<br />
<br />
<b>God’s Promises to Never Leave Us</b><br />
<br />
Deuteronomy 31:8 <i>“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." </i><br />
<br />
Joshua 1:9 <i>“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” </i><br />
<br />
Matthew 28:20 <i>“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." </i><br />
<br />
John 10:27 <i>“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.” </i><br />
<br />
<b>God’s Promises that He Loves Us</b><br />
<br />
Romans 8:35,38-39 <i>Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. </i><br />
<br />
Romans 5:8 <i>But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. </i><br />
<br />
Galatians 2:20 <i>The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. </i><br />
<br />
<b>God Never Changes</b><br />
<br />
God never changes, He is the one constant in an ever-changing world. <i>Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. </i> Hebrews 13:8 <br />
<br />
<b>Assurance of Salvation</b><br />
<br />
If it feels like we think we have lost our salvation, here are a few verses to reassure us of the gift of eternal life that we receive from God when we believe in, cling to and rely upon Jesus. <br />
<br />
<i>For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. </i> Romans 6:23.<br />
<br />
<i>That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. </i> Romans 10:9 And <i>"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." </i>John 3:16. <br />
<br />
It does not matter if we cannot <i>feel</i> that we are saved if suffering from depression or going through a major life crisis, what matters is that we believe in Jesus and stand upon His Word. (More on this topic in <a href="http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.com/2010/03/depression-and-wondering-if-we-are.html">this</a> article.)<br />
<br />
<b>Relying on God’s Word, not our Feelings</b><br />
<br />
One last thought before I sign off. When we have learned to cope with or passed out of difficult times such as depression, we will be able to look back upon the phase where we thought God had abandoned us, and we will recognise very clearly that He was with us and holding us safely in His hands the whole time.<br />
<br />
We will also realise that it was during this time that we learnt to rely upon and stand on God's Word, instead of relying on our feelings. <br />
<br />
Luke 6:47-48 <i>“I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” </i><br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com401tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-26720230150250101942018-03-14T12:10:00.000+11:002018-04-03T14:48:57.095+10:00Depression - Suicide is NOT the answer (Christians, Depression, and Suicide)The extract below is from my diary, written while stuck in the miry pit of severe depression. I had virtually no hope, could see no future, and feared depression would never end.<br />
<br />
29th April 1990 -<br />
<i>How many other people are out there like me?<br />
I wish I could help them, comfort them,<br />
But I wouldn’t know how.<br />
I don’t even know how to survive myself.<br />
What was it that stopped me from ending it all?<br />
Why did I persist?<br />
Jesus was some of the reason, sure,<br />
But even my spiritual life was in a complete shambles.<br />
<br />
The one main thing that stopped me from ending it was my mother.<br />
I had to keep going for her, <br />
And for the others who cared for me.<br />
How could they cope if I had killed myself?<br />
I saw the devastating effects a suicide could have on a family,<br />
And there’s no way I could put others through such an ordeal.</i><br />
<br />
A common reaction if experiencing unbearable suffering such as depression, is to want to die or kill ourselves. Unable to see an end to the suffering, and not knowing how to be free from it, suicide or wanting to die may seem like the only escape route available.<br />
<br />
This is a lie from Satan. Capitalising upon our fears and feelings of hopelessness, Satan tries to convince suffering people that death is the only way out. He tries to hide the truth from us because he wants to destroy us. We must not give into Satan; we must not give him the victory. <br />
<br />
John 8:44 <i>“the devil…was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”</i><br />
<br />
Another extract from my diary, 14th June 1990 –<br />
<i>I keep asking myself, why am I still here?<br />
Why am I still even trying?<br />
Why don’t I just give up and end it?<br />
I mean, is this all there is to human life?<br />
Suffering?<br />
Is this it?<br />
<br />
But regardless of how hard it gets,<br />
I can’t end it, for my mother could not handle it.<br />
I’ve seen the effects suicide can have on a family,<br />
And I would not willingly do that to anyone.<br />
I feel so like Job. “Curse God and die!” my thoughts yell at me.<br />
“Look at this suffering! <br />
How can He be faithful, <br />
When He’s apparently done nothing for six whole months now – <br />
Curse Him and die!”<br />
But God is faithful, and I know that -<br />
It is His name – Faithful and True.</i><br />
<br />
The main thing that stopped me from ending it was that I had witnessed the effects suicide has upon a person’s family, and I loved my family too much to destroy their lives by ending my own. They loved me, cared for me, and were supporting me the best they could, as were my friends. If I had taken my own life, it would have destroyed their lives by causing them to enter a depression worse than what I was experiencing. I refused to put them through that.<br />
<br />
And as to the fear that depression would never end – that was a lie as well. I did recover. The fact is, if I had succumbed to Satan’s lies that death was the only way out of depression, I would have been robbed of all the wonderful blessings that God was yet to give me. <br />
<br />
1 Corinthians 2:9 <br />
<i>However, as it is written:<br />
"No eye has seen,<br />
no ear has heard,<br />
no mind has conceived<br />
what God has prepared for those who love him."</i><br />
<br />
Once I came to understand how depression worked and how to recover, hope re-entered my life. During the next four years, while I slowly healed, I learnt to live with it and got on with my life. I made a lot of new friends, took up new hobbies such as writing and computer games, and joined a new church where I played the piano and taught Sunday school. <br />
<br />
And then, when I recovered from depression, God continued to pour His blessings upon me. I bought a house, married a wonderful lady and had two beautiful (busy!) children. <br />
<br />
Quality of life after depression was also much better than it had been before depression. Why? Because it was through depression that had I finally learnt how to deal with anxiety and panic attacks – I was finally free of them for the first time in my life! And best of all, I came to receive a much deeper understanding of God’s love for me, I learnt how to trust Him during difficult times, and I came so much closer to Jesus. <br />
<br />
Another thing that helped me to press on, where the memories of my relationship with Jesus before I became depressed. I often reflected upon the times He had comforted me, the times I had felt His wonderful presence, and upon Bible passages that offered encouragement. Most of all, I remembered when Jesus so clearly revealed His love for me - a love so deep and touching that I had wept for joy afterwards. I focused on the fact that God is faithful and true, irrespective of my circumstances.<br />
<br />
Ephesians 3:17-19 <i>‘And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’</i><br />
<br />
One thought that helped me persevere was the joy of reaching heaven and hearing Jesus say, <i>“Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!”</i> Matthew 25:23. How could Jesus say that if I had taken my own life? That is not being a good and faithful servant, making the most of the life and gifts He had given me – that is giving up!<br />
<br />
I also kept in mind that God rewards the overcomers, those who persevere in times of trouble. The book of Revelation lists several wonderful rewards that Christ gives to the overcomers. If you have a moment, please check them out. Revelation 2:7, 2:11, 2:17, 3:5, 3:12<br />
<br />
In conclusion, if plagued by thoughts that suicide is the only way out of depression, remember that this is a lie - there is a way out, we can recover, and we can enjoy the richness of life again. <br />
<br />
And some advice - we need to talk to those who are supporting and caring for us, and tell them if we are having suicidal thoughts. When I confided to my mother that I felt like ending it all, she immediately arranged for me to see her doctor. The anti-depressants the doctor gave me were very effective in reducing the severity of depression’s symptoms, which made life much more bearable. So if having such thoughts, please see a good doctor and follow his or her advice. <br />
<br />
As well as seeing a doctor, we need to get help from a professional therapist or counsellor and deal with the underlying issues that are causing the depression. I also recommend reading “Self Help for Your Nerves” by Dr Claire Weekes. It was after reading this book that hope returned to my life. <br />
<br />
And most of all, we need to cling to, rely upon, and trust in Jesus. He will not abandon us if we turn to Him. <br />
<br />
If no one is available and you need to talk about suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone at a suicide helpline. <a href="http://www.christianforums.com/t4468295/"> Here </a> is a helpful listing of such helplines available in a number of different countries. <br />
<br />
All verses from the NIV.Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-25852782511222618892018-03-03T12:52:00.000+11:002018-04-03T14:45:23.072+10:00Free eBook on Depression (Kindle, ePub, PDF)Dear Readers,<br />
<br />
I have updated the free eBook on depression written from a Christian perspective, which is available on this blog, <u><i>Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled</i></u>. It is available in Kindle, ePub and PDF formats.<br />
<br />
Feel free to share your copy with anyone you feel may benefit from reading it.<br />
<br />
Just click on the appropriate link to download:<br />
<table><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1MRefjmcosvZHdBQ3U4LVRuVm8/view?usp=sharing" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTlNlE_ghVTTvhRnIHbXgo148vtTBYzOHD7pxvsjWYSJzgrewWdhc0zraGgcPPQt2el1OFzGArnkEiNFWujjN1S-0Pd68eGEgsgoMRK3eMw6Ru87hyphenhyphenobEx_RbGccRkXdHfE3ZfMfzpK05H/s200/pdf.jpg" width="200" /></a></td><td><a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1MRefjmcosvQjJ0eG42c09ZSXM/edit?usp=sharing" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoYO9m3nrbKRda0T5V0IXh9B0DaxgIvJm_LfJwvprV1Ht5vcKt3TkGUxczxjj_pq2FOvDCkpMiZBFwsZeJ13yxO6Gs-qyytPSOQdXtk41d7lbTqbyDgLvBuNyou0WAIP1j_xSBsyXtt6iC/s200/kindle.jpg" width="146" /></a></td><td><a href="https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1MRefjmcosvLUJ1dTVMcFA5Q2c/edit?usp=sharing" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrdr-wAW71Zk0GHYKl3Mq_8isQ5CVkwkfQ1d8fm7Kw1kJe0CjHZGY3cZD15ya2WBP17EM5EhUqwjD1Umdi9AjSWX2SFPu17dbN8SBgrk42_8TT8llNV42d239V8HwIsmBVvNSW_tElkaNv/s200/epub.png" width="100" /></a></td></tr>
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<br />
This book is a collection of the articles from my blog, Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled, where I share my recovery from depression. The book’s purpose is to offer practical advice and words of comfort to those suffering from depression and anxiety, in the hope of helping them to cope with depression and speed them on the path to recovery. The book has been written from a Christian perspective.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-3138906012483118332018-03-01T19:02:00.000+11:002018-04-03T14:47:28.027+10:00What Causes Depression?Depression was the most confusing and bewildering experience of my life. I spent countless hours trying to work out what was wrong with me and what it was that caused me to get into such a state. <br />
<br />
From my diary, 8th February 1990 - <br />
<i>I think and think, <br />
and try to work out <br />
what has happened to me and why,<br />
and what I should be doing.<br />
But it is a worthless exercise,<br />
I am allergic to my own thoughts.</i><br />
<br />
Months later I learned that I was suffering from depression, and that the illness can be caused by biological, mental/emotional, and social factors, and more commonly, a combination of all three.<br />
<br />
<b>Biological Causes</b><br />
<br />
Without going into the technical details, it is sufficient to say that as with any part of the human body, there are a great many things that can go wrong with the human brain and mind. More complex causes of depression can include chemical/genetic imbalances in the brain and glandular disorders. A lack of sleep such as chronic insomnia and a poor diet (including undiagnosed food intolerances) can also cause depression. And ‘there is some evidence to show that severe depression runs in families. This has led to the conclusion that some people innately may be more <i>prone</i> to depression than others...” (1) <br />
<br />
I suffered from chronic insomnia in 1989, the year that preceded my descent into severe depression. This had started in my late teens and had grown progressively worse, the result I believe of having undiagnosed complex partial epilepsy. I have only been able to sleep naturally after being placed on anti-seizure meds in my mid-thirties. That year I also made the mistake of eating poorly and skipping exercise. Both of my parents have also suffered from depression.<br />
<br />
<b>Social Causes</b><br />
<br />
One thing that I have learned is that our past, and especially what transpired during our childhood years, typically catches up with us once we reach adulthood. Any form of child abuse, whether physical, mental or emotional, and even rejection, can either cause depression or make a depressive episode much worse than it would have been otherwise. Over disciplining a child, or setting unattainable goals or unrealistic standards for them, can also play a factor.<br />
<br />
The Christian counsellor I saw when I was depressed spent hours helping me to face and deal with issues from my childhood - issues that during depression had grown out of proportion to become insurmountable stumbling blocks. <br />
<br />
<b>Mental/Emotional Causes</b><br />
<br />
‘It is well known that the stresses of life stimulate depression, especially when these stresses involve a loss. Loss of an opportunity, a job, status, health, freedom...possessions...can each lead to depression. Then there is the loss of people. Divorce, death, or prolonged separations are painful and known to be among the most effective depression-producing events of life.’ (2) In November 1989, I suffered a major shock that caused me great stress.<br />
<br />
The feeling of being trapped by situations such as those listed above - situations over which we have no control, also contributes to depression, as does a habit of thinking negatively on every aspect of life, including having a negative self-concept.<br />
<br />
Another cause of depression is anger turned inward, in other words, towards ourselves. If we are deeply hurt but have no outlet for expressing the ensuing anger, this can lead to frustration, resentment, and deeper anger, which can cause depression. (3)<br />
<br />
Guilt, in response to failure or wrong doing, can also cause depression. <br />
<br />
<br />
One thing I would like to share in closing is that it is common for Christians to suspect that our depression has spiritual causes, since we typically feel so far from God when depressed. I also remember fearing that it was God who was inflicting the depression upon me. When I shared this with my counsellor, she said, “We make the mistake in thinking that because our spiritual life is affected by depression, the cause must be spiritual. But this is incorrect; depression touches every part of us, so why do we think that it will not touch us spiritually?” My counsellor reassured me of the truth, that God does not afflict depression upon anyone. God is a loving God who delights in giving us good and perfect gifts, as well as comforting us in our times of trouble.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a free ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles </a><br />
<br />
All verses from the NIV.<br />
<br />
(1) Christian Counselling, Word Publishing, 1980, p87.<br />
(2) Christian Counselling, Word Publishing, 1980, p88.<br />
(3) Christian Counselling, Word Publishing, 1980, p88.<br />
<br />
tags: <br />
How can a Christian get depressed?<br />
Can a Christian get depressed?Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-18732696169421955522018-02-01T19:59:00.000+11:002022-12-18T19:59:28.088+11:00OCD Pure-O - An alternative to flooding.<p> Everyone has heard of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder),
in which a person suffers from obsessive compulsive<span lang="EN-GB"> behaviours</span>. For example, obsessive hand
cleaning, obsessively checking that you have locked the door, (i.e., checking
it again and again), being obsessed with a particular type of orderliness, and
so on.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p>But there is another type of OCD, called OCD Pure-O. (The
Pure-O stands for 'purely obsessional.')</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">This type of OCD exists <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">entirely
in the mind</i>, where the person experiences obsessive intrusive thoughts
without having any external physical compulsions. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p>There two main types or aspects of OCD Pure-O (that I'm
aware of). One is unwanted repulsive/repugnant thoughts. The other is
irrational fearful thoughts which are triggered by an unwanted fearful thought
(called a spike) which then leads to hours or days of fearful obsessive
thinking (called rumination) as the person argues with/tries to escape from the
fearful thought and/or what it threatens/insinuates.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">In this article I would like to talk about the unwanted
repulsive/repugnant thoughts. Without going into much detail, they could be of
unwanted sexual thoughts, unwanted violent thoughts, unwanted thoughts of
spiders, etc. These thoughts tend to pop suddenly into our mind, causing us to
flinch internally (if not also externally) as we do not want to think such
thoughts. The thoughts are so repulsive that we:</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">a) tend to worry where the thought came from. Is it from our
mind? Or from our heart? In either case, what does it reveal about me?</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">b) tend to be so afraid that these repulsive thoughts might
return that it causes us to be more anxious, which of course makes us more
prone to the return of those thoughts. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">In most cases and for most people, we do not need to fear
where these repulsive thoughts are coming from. We don't need to do an internal
witch hunt, we don’t need to spend hours searching our hearts and desires to
see if there is something wrong in our inner self. Thousands of thoughts flow
through our minds every day, and everyone occasionally has such unwanted
thoughts. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 36.0pt;">A person with a healthy mind just
dismisses such a thought out of hand without giving it the time of day. But a
person with an anxiety disorder or depression has a tired mind that is already
stuck in a rut of thinking fearful thoughts. So such a person tends to latch
onto these thoughts, think they mean something about their inner selves, and
then go on an inner witch hunt. But this is not necessary. If such thoughts
occur to us, we need to tell ourselves, "These thoughts are not from my
heart, they're just random fearful thoughts passing through my mind."</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It is
very important that we do not fear the return of the repulse thoughts. The more
we fear their return, the more they will return. We also must not get angry at
the thoughts and fight them. We need to accept that for the time being, those
repulsive thoughts will come, and without focusing on them, let them fall to
the back of our mind like background music.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">I have heard that one method psychologists use to counter
this type of OCD Pure-O is called flooding. Which as the name suggests,
involves deliberately exposing/immersing the OCD Pure-O sufferer to the
repulsive thing/topic, and in doing so, desensitize them to it. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Although
this obviously works in some situations and with some people, it can also cause
problems. I heard of a person suffering from repulsive sexual thoughts who was flooded
with porn (made to watch copious amounts of porn) in order to desensitize them.
The result was that the person was watching huge amounts of porn, which was in itself
extremely destructive. They wanted to stop the repulsive thoughts coming, not
be immersed so deeply into it that it becomes a significant a part of their
life. Not to mention all the warnings that the Bible gives us regarding how
sexual immortality such as porn damages us, and how porn so horrifically warps
that persons perspective of the opposite sex, and so on.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><u>An Alternative to OCD Pure-O Flooding<o:p></o:p></u></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p>We can't make ourselves stop thinking repulsive thoughts by
telling ourselves to stop thinking them. The Christian counselor that I was
seeing said to me, 'Think of an elephant,' which I did. Then she said, 'Stop
thinking about the elephant.' And then asked, 'What were you just thinking
about?' My answer, 'Still the elephant.' Then she ran me through the exercise
again, where I thought of an elephant, but then she told me to ‘Think of an
orange, imagine its texture and what it smells like.” And of course, I was no
longer thinking of the elephant.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So an alternative to flooding, and this is the method I
used to be set free from repulsive thoughts, is to create new
associations/pathways in the mind, by thinking of something else that totally
engrosses the mind and senses, if only long enough for the intensity of the
repulsive thought to fade to the back of the mind.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
asking Jesus to set me free from such thoughts, one day I found to a picture
online of a huge wave rolling towards the prow of a battleship. The wave was so
huge that I found myself wondering what would happen when that wave hit the
boat. After that, whenever a repulsive thought popped into my mind, I
immediately pictured that wave rolling through the choppy sea towards the
powerful, thick steel prow of the battleship and then crashing into the side of
the battleship with an extremely loud 'clang' or 'boom', causing the sound to
reverberate right through the ship. I visualized the sight, sound and feel of
that wave hitting the boat. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
took around a year, but by thinking of that wave hitting the boat every time a
repulse thought came, it distracted me from the thought, broke its power, and
sent it to the back of my mind. The thoughts occurred with less and less
frequency until they pretty much stopped. Since then, odd occasion that such a
thought pops into my mind, I now just think "Stop!" or "Jesus,
help me!" and then turn my thoughts to anything else and it's gone without
actually triggering. </p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">Unfortunately, I can't find that picture again, but I
suggest you find something that interests you, that you have to concentrate to visualize
what it looks like, sounds like and feels like (if not all 5 senses!)</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p>We do not want to be lumbered with repulsive thoughts. As
Christians, we want to think wholesome thoughts that<span lang="EN-GB"> honour</span> and please God. We want to have
the mind of Christ in us.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p> </o:p>By creating new associations/pathways in our minds, is one
way of taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to the mind of
Christ.</p>
<p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><b>2 Corinthians 10: 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)</b></p><p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;"><br /></p>Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-4211955752468334452017-12-07T11:39:00.000+11:002022-06-02T23:53:21.107+10:00Hope for Believers with Depression<p>We who suffer from depression often struggle to keep hope alive in our hearts because everything often seems so bleak, and depression colours/distorts our view of the future.</p><p>So I share below some beautiful Bible verses to remind us of the wondrous hope that exists for all who have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. Let us meditate on these verses, read them again and again, write them down, hide them in our hearts, and be encouraged and filled with hope.</p><p>(I made two versions, one on a light and one on a dark background. All verses from the NIV.)</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvMkrzbU6o468DkxeS4NGOX9vKauVEO1d4f5esRfIJnZmIhT0H_e97uE6_gQJipYz_AZYWh-RpSgfgREEq7tXhI4L-_aXjsqDeroHh8xw2PUmiK7-tr44MhUpmb5aaE02RWxjqyGrhlet/s0/131406648_10158125512682872_9102183284089025849_o.jpg" style="display: inline; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1076" data-original-width="1196" height="576" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvMkrzbU6o468DkxeS4NGOX9vKauVEO1d4f5esRfIJnZmIhT0H_e97uE6_gQJipYz_AZYWh-RpSgfgREEq7tXhI4L-_aXjsqDeroHh8xw2PUmiK7-tr44MhUpmb5aaE02RWxjqyGrhlet/w640-h576/131406648_10158125512682872_9102183284089025849_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiERkigxjeXjlRmFLEm2SiYdhbIz4vkJhoqhBe_RgYcFuG5eayxYDbd7jCNZNFGuNjTtxoGNFowjD8L3WYGycJHNoDDJqoHzTrTi09lw8Kxes-o6s9m2GNYX0m-t53Vm7zcUU3gy4QYOMyD/s0/131976790_10158126911552872_5118374402103600361_o.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: left;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1078" data-original-width="1208" height="571" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiERkigxjeXjlRmFLEm2SiYdhbIz4vkJhoqhBe_RgYcFuG5eayxYDbd7jCNZNFGuNjTtxoGNFowjD8L3WYGycJHNoDDJqoHzTrTi09lw8Kxes-o6s9m2GNYX0m-t53Vm7zcUU3gy4QYOMyD/w640-h571/131976790_10158126911552872_5118374402103600361_o.jpg" width="640" /></a>What joy, what blessed hope! Jesus Christ died for us because He wants us to be <i>with Him</i> for eternity!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div>Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-54666503089460586692016-04-22T13:10:00.000+10:002016-07-09T23:15:29.548+10:00Depression and Counseling/TherapyIn order to identify, face and work through the root causes of depression and its associated issues, it is important that someone suffering from depression sees a trained Christian counselor or Christian professional therapist. <br />
<br />
I struggled daily with many overwhelming, destructive fears when I was severely depressed. I was reluctant to share these fears with anyone I knew because I was embarrassed by them, was worried what my family or friends would think of me, and I also feared that if I shared those fears with them, the fears would destroy their lives as well.<br />
<br />
Painfully aware that my life was a complete mess, I finally admitted that I needed help from a trained counselor, someone impartial with whom I could share what I was going through and confide in without fearing they would judge me or be adversely affected by the things I feared. They would also be able to give me practical counsel and help in determining what was wrong with me and assist in my recovery.<br />
<br />
So when I was ten weeks into severe depression I went to see a local minister to receive counseling. Although I truly appreciate the time he gave me, he saw me just the once and sent me on my way. Though he gave good advice, this brief visit provided only minimal comfort and did not effectively address the traumas that haunted me. This is what I wrote in my diary that day. 13th March 1990 – <i>Well, the day finally came where I saw the pastor. I was hoping for some huge touch from God, such as healing, or deliverance from oppression or possession, but no received such easy answer.</i> As we can see, I was still under the mistaken impression that I could find an ‘instant’ solution to depression.<br />
<br />
That the pastor saw me only once brings me to my next point – that we need wisdom in choosing the right counselor/therapist, as some counselors lack the knowledge and experience necessary to help someone suffering from depression. Some ministers think a one-off counseling/prayer session is sufficient, they do not realize that counseling needs to be continued for several months if not years, and on a regular basis. Some counselors make the error of using shock tactics in a futile attempt to try to force someone to pull themselves out of depression, which only places the depressed person under more pressure and fear. <br />
<br />
If the counselor we are seeing is not able to help us, it may be necessary to seek another more experienced one. And that is exactly what I did. Two weeks later I went to see another counselor, a very compassionate lady and trained counselor who had experienced depression herself when incapacitated by a near-terminal illness. On 19th March 1990 I wrote – <i>I’m a complete emotional and spiritual mess and I need help, dear Jesus, so I’ll be seeing a counselor in ten days, but I feel really guilty for taking up her time. I don’t want to impose on her.</i> It is normal to be reluctant about seeing a counselor, but we must not let this deter us.<br />
<br />
The counselor counseled me once a month for several months. She sympathised with what I was going through, offered practical advice, and through prayer, God’s Word, and her own experiences, helped me to face and deal with several deep emotional wounds and flawed thought processes. <br />
<br />
Below are some excerpts from my diary about those counseling sessions. <br />
<br />
<i>The counselor said that depression is the worse ailment that we can have, because it affects all areas of our lives: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. We make the mistake of thinking that because our spiritual life is affected, the cause must be spiritual. But this is incorrect. Depression touches every part of us, which means it touches us spiritually too.<br />
<br />
The counselor listed the symptoms of depression, which described my condition perfectly. These included having no hope, being unable to see the future, you cannot ever see yourself getting beyond this current stage, you look at everyone else and wish you were any one of them instead of yourself.<br />
<br />
She said that I should be on anti-depressants to help me, and that they will start to work after about ten days. </i><br />
<br />
When I found the courage to share some of my irrational fears with the counselor, she gently helped me to see those fearful thoughts from another perspective – the true perspective. <br />
<br />
As a result of her counseling, I was eventually set free from one of the greatest bondage of my life. For much of my life my inner peace had disappeared when about to make a major life decision, and only returned when I gave up all plans to make that change. Because of this, and due to the fact that as a child I had been taught that God would take away His peace to guide me or test me, I had reached the mistaken conclusion that God was actually removing my peace to guide me. The truth was that I had been suffering from panic attacks that were triggered by the stress of making those decisions. It was these panic attacks that had been robbing me of my inner peace, not God at all.<br />
<br />
The counselor taught me that God gives us peace. Jesus said <i>“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled.”</i> John 14:27 It does <u>not</u> say “My lack of peace I give to guide you.” We need to make our decisions prayerfully with wisdom based on God’s Word – and do so while dwelling in His peace. She reminded me that Jesus is the Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6<br />
<br />
It was so ingrained in my thinking that panic attacks were God guiding me that I felt guilty and disobedient for no longer listening to them or doing what they demanded, even though I now knew that they were not from God. To deal with this irrational fear the counselor taught me to pray, <i>“What ever Your will is for my life, Lord, please bring it about - even without my obedience or cooperation. You are God; You are greater than me or the circumstances, so You are able to bring about Your will regardless.”</i><br />
<br />
In another session, by the power of the Holy Spirit, the counselor discerned spirits of fear and terror at work in my life. She took authority over these and broke them in the name of Jesus. <i>‘The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.’</i> 2 Corinthians 10:4. Note that this was only the beginning of being set free from fear and terror - I still needed to retrain my thought processes away from the habit of fearful thinking. Changing our thinking until it is in line with God’s Word is a slow but very necessary process. <i>‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’</i> 2 Corinthians 10:5.<br />
<br />
During our counseling sessions, the counselor also took me back to some of my childhood traumas. We invited Jesus to join us as we recalled those events. This is what I wrote in my diary after one of these sessions: <br />
<br />
8th August 1990 - <i>It was really beautiful to see how Jesus healed me of my past hurts. On that occasion when I was seven, and hated and hit myself, the counselor took me back to that time, and told me to look to Jesus and see how He responded. Jesus told me that He accepted me as I was, and gave me a great big hug, and told me that He loved me, and that I did not need to react that way and punish myself, and that he understood. </i>Jesus’ touch brought deep inner healing. Now when I remember that event, I see Jesus standing there, reaching out to and comforting me, instead of the deep pain that had previously been associated with it.<br />
<br />
In August 1990 I read the book “Self Help for Your Nerves” by Dr Claire Weekes. From there, recovery from depression was so rapid that at the end of October, the counselor said I no longer required counseling. Although I was still suffering from many of depression’s side effects, she said it was time to get back into things, and encouraged me to join a home group and to return to active service in the church. <br />
<br />
This is what I wrote in my diary following that final counseling session.<br />
<br />
21/10/90 –<br />
<i>The counselor said I am to pray every morning: <br />
“Lord, this is the day that you have made, <br />
You have put me where I am in it, <br />
therefore fulfill your created purpose for me in this day.” <br />
Every night I am to pray, <br />
“I thank you Lord, I don't understand - but I believe.” <br />
<br />
The counselor said that to be in deep surrender to God <br />
means to never look back <br />
with regret upon the past, <br />
nor forward to what I want to be in the future – <br />
comparing ourselves to what we used to be, <br />
or what we want to be, <br />
is a hindrance for resting in God's will. <br />
Each day I am to say: <br />
“I am content to be who You made me to be, today. <br />
I'm content to be where You put me today, <br />
and I'm content to be how You made me to be today.” </i><br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a free ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles </a><br />
<br />
All verses from the NIV.<br />
<br />
tags:<br />
receiving counseling for depression<br />
Christians, depression, counseling/therapyPeter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-68131567925419463952016-04-19T17:51:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:17:44.780+10:00Depression and that Disgusting Morning FeelingMany people suffering from depression have discovered that they usually feel worse in the morning, a symptom usually associated with severe depression. This was my case as well, as we can see from the following diary entry:<br />
<br />
28th Feb 1990<br />
<i>In the mornings, I always feel disgusting<br />
Not bad, not guilty, not unclean, but disgusting, unsettled, disturbed.<br />
And the degree to which I feel disturbed varies throughout each day. </i><br />
<br />
This was written two months into severe depression. The worst phase of depression, where I did nothing but lay on my bed and churn over obsessive fearful thoughts, had passed. But this next phase was not that much of an improvement, and was still accompanied by this disgusting morning feeling.<br />
<br />
I would wake from a fitful, sometimes nightmare filled sleep, only to be disappointed to find that I felt worse than I did the night before. This is a strange and unsettling experience, as you would expect to feel better after a night’s sleep, but with depression, that is typically not the case. Anxiety levels may be elevated when we wake, and we may even wake with fearful thoughts already churning through our mind. In fact, I often found myself debating my fears in my dreams, and waking merely brought those fears into conscious thought.<br />
<br />
Even when we are well on the road to recovery, have regained hope, and are beginning to have good days, it is still common to wake in the morning and feel so bad that we wonder if we really are improving at all.<br />
<br />
In ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes has a whole chapter devoted to this issue, called ‘That Dreaded Morning Feeling.’ She shares, <i> ‘It is strange how the morning has this disconcerting habit of apparently paying little regard to the improvement of the day before. People are disappointed and bewildered when, after going to bed fairly cheerful, they wake the next morning to find the same old heart of lead, the same depression, the same churning stomach, the same difficulty in facing the day...” </i> (1)<br />
<br />
The temptation when waking is to stay in bed and rest until we feel better and feel more able to face the day.<br />
<br />
However, this is not the best course of action. Although upon waking we may feel disturbed and exhausted and do not feel like moving, that is exactly what we need to do. We need to get out of bed when we wake, shower, dress, have breakfast (preferably with other family members), and then get outside for a gentle walk in the fresh air. As we walk, it is a wonderful opportunity to chat away to Jesus and fellowship with Him, even if we cannot feel His presence like we used to. We should also reflect upon Bible verses that provide encouragement and tell us of His faithfulness. <br />
<br />
<i>Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,<br />
for his compassions never fail.<br />
They are new every morning;<br />
great is your faithfulness. </i><br />
Lamentations 3:22-23<br />
<br />
The activity of getting up and preparing for the day, and going for a walk combined with fresh air can bring relief to our troubled, weary mind, revitalise our exhausted body, and gently pushes away that terrible, disgusting morning feeling. Then we will be ready to face the day and do the things that need doing.<br />
<br />
In contrast, had we stayed in bed, that disgusting morning feeling lingers much, much longer, and fearful thoughts also have a free run to keep assailing us.<br />
<br />
(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p105.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-51339402411521691692016-04-13T13:23:00.000+10:002016-07-09T23:18:57.925+10:00Depression and Reasons not to Self-harmSome depression sufferers resort to what is known as ‘self-harm.’ This may involve the person hitting or otherwise deliberately injuring themselves. While suffering from depression back in 1990, I too struggled with this issue.<br />
<br />
The purpose of this post is to encourage anyone struggling with this issue that they can be set free from it, as I was.<br />
<br />
<i>‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.’ </i> Galatians 5:1<br />
<br />
Why do some people suffering from depression resort to hurting themselves? My diary entries from 1990 reveal some of the common reasons, which can be summarised as follows:<br />
<br />
<u>Reasons for Self-harm:</u><br />
<br />
Stemming from despair, hopeless and unbearable frustration:<br />
1. Self-harm can be an attempt to fight depression’s symptoms and make them go away.<br />
2. Self-harm may be an attempt to punish our body & mind for seemingly ruining our lives and refusing to recover.<br />
3. Self-harm can be a cry for help.<br />
4. Self-harm can be an attempt to use the physical pain to distract us from unbearable inner pain.<br />
<br />
Self-harm is typically accompanied with crushing waves of guilt and sorrow, in the aftermath of seeing the injuries we may have inflicted upon ourselves. <br />
<br />
<br />
<u>Changing our Attitude Towards Self-harm:</u><br />
<br />
In order to break the habit of harming ourselves, we need to change our attitude towards it. <br />
<br />
1. Self-harm may <i>feel</i> like a relevant outlet for our rage and anger – a way to fight depression’s symptoms in an attempt to make them go away. Self-harm may <i>seem</i> to give us some form of temporary relief, however, we must remind ourselves that this is a lie, another of Satan’s deceptions. <i><u>The fact is that if we self-harm, the anger, injuries, pain and guilt make the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle worse by causing more fear-related adrenalin to flow. This makes depression’s symptoms worse. </u></i><u></u><br />
<br />
2. As self-harm stems from bewilderment, despair, hopeless and unbearable frustration, it is imperative that we understand what depression is and how the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle works. Please read <a href="http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.com/2009/02/understanding-depression-to-cast-off.html"> this post </a> to understand that cycle, and let <i>knowledge</i> replace the <i>confusion. </i> Once we learn <a href="http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.com/2009/02/breaking-fear-cycle.html"> the technique </a> on how to break that cycle, <i>hope replaces hopelessness and the frustration fades away. </i><br />
<br />
3. <i>We need to teach ourselves to hesitate if about to self-harm. </i> If we raise our hand or reach for something with which to harm ourselves, we need to pause and remind ourselves that this will make depression worse by causing more negative adrenalin to flow. Ask Jesus for the strength to resist the urge and then let time pass - the urge will lose its urgency and fade away.<br />
<br />
4. As a Christian, we need to remind ourselves that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit – God lives in us. We need to be responsible and look after and respect God’s temple, rather than harming it. <i>Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. </i> 1 Corinthians 6:19-20<br />
<br />
5. One thing that helps people to stop hurting themselves is to reflect upon the effect such behaviour has on their family and friends. Caring family members and friends grieve if they see us hurting ourselves. We need to change our focus from ourselves and focus on our desire to stop hurting them through our actions.<br />
<br />
6. One thing that helped me immensely was this: if I felt tempted to hurt myself, I would picture Jesus standing before me, telling me that He accepted and loved me, that He wanted to take me into His arms and comfort me (He understood what I was going through), and that I did not need to react in such a manner. (This is what He showed me during a counselling session.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<u>If We Fail:</u><br />
<br />
Keeping the above things in mind can help us break the self-harm habit, but we may still fail on the odd occasion. If we do, we must not let guilt have its way with us. Go to God, confess the sin, thank Him for His forgiveness and ask Him to help us resist the urge to self-harm next time, and then put the lapse behind us. <i>If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. </i> I John 1:9<br />
<br />
<i>However, if we find that the issue is not improving or getting worse, please see a doctor and/or a Christian therapist or counsellor, and get professional help. Do not struggle alone. </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<u>Other Things that may help:</u><br />
<br />
Other things that may help us overcome a self-harm habit include keeping ourselves occupied with constructive activities, regular exercise, and spending as much time as possible with others who care for us, especially family or close friends.<br />
<br />
We must not listen to the negative thoughts and voices (and memories of others) telling us that we are pathetic, useless and worthless. We must not hate our body for ‘putting us through this,’ as our body is not responsible, but the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle. We must ignore any feelings of self-hatred and loathing. <br />
<br />
Instead, we need to fix our eyes upon Jesus, and upon the love that He has for us. <br />
<br />
<i>And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. </i>Ephesians 3:17-19.<br />
<br />
Regardless of how we may view ourselves, Jesus does not reject us or despise us - He loves us so much that while we were still sinners He died for us so we can be restored to fellowship with God. <i>But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. </i> Romans 5:8<br />
<br />
<i> “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." </i> John 6:37-40<br />
<br />
Jesus treasures each of us so dearly that He wants us to share our lives with Him for all eternity. <i> He died for us so that, whether we are awake (on earth) or asleep (in heaven), we may live together with him. </i> 1 Thessalonians 5:10 <br />
<br />
Only by focusing upon God’s Word will we see our true worth - we are precious in His sight! <br />
<br />
<i>"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." </i> Zephaniah 3:17<br />
<br />
All verses from the NIV.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-30360071389366259292016-04-12T23:13:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:11:30.150+10:00Symptoms of Depression & How it Causes ThemOne of the worst aspects of depression is the mind numbing confusion and bewilderment that accompanies it. Like many suffering from depression, I had no idea what was causing the multitude of troubling physical, mental, emotional and spiritual symptoms. My diary is filled with entries where I tried to work out what was causing them.<br />
<br />
2nd Jan ’90 – <i>I often wished Jesus had given me a book, a manual, all on me. It’s so hard - we go through these things that we’ve never gone through before, and we don’t know what’s happening and don’t know what to do. </i><br />
<br />
28th Feb ’90 – <br />
<i>Every day is a nightmare…I just want to hide.<br />
It relents for a day, then it’s back in full force.<br />
Feeling disturbed, pain, anger, distress <br />
and grief soon follow.<br />
It feels like there are little knives <br />
inside my chest and jaw, <br />
and they cut, cut, cut…<br />
I can’t believe this is happening to me<br />
I wake disturbed, I go to work disturbed, <br />
all day, everyday, disturbed.<br />
What has happened to me? <br />
Where has it come from?</i><br />
<br />
Although I was eventually diagnosed with depression, I was only told about some of its symptoms and was given little information as to how it was causing those symptoms. Confusion continued to reign, and when I examined my life and all that was wrong with me, I concluded that I was an aberration - a freak - and I despised myself.<br />
<br />
The first time I saw a comprehensive list of symptoms caused by anxiety and depression was in late July 1990, when I started reading ‘Self Help for Your Nerves’ by Dr Claire Weekes. This is the diary entry I made that night –relief is shining through every word: <br />
<br />
28th July 1990 – <br />
<i>This book, ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ goes on to…describe EVERY single thing I have been suffering from for the past eight months, and even back for the five or so months prior to that. I had no idea all of the strange things in my mind, body, and emotions, were ALL interlinked and caused by the same thing! And it even says how I've been sitting and wondering what happened to me, and wondering if I’ll ever be the same again? The book explains everything, right down to obsessive thoughts, and that people who've developed this thing have probably been stuck with it for weeks, months, and one guy even had it for ten years.</i> <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>Understanding Depression Brings Relief</u></b><u></u><br />
<br />
When someone who is suffering from depression realizes that their symptoms are a normal and common reaction to a malfunctioning nervous system, it brings a great sense of relief. Understanding how their malfunctioning nervous system causes those symptoms brings further relief. Suddenly, we no longer view ourselves as a freak. Doctor Claire Weekes writes in ‘Self Help for Your Nerves’, ‘These symptoms are not peculiar to you, but are well known to many like you.’ (1)<br />
<br />
Learning this is one of the first steps towards recovery. <br />
<br />
We can understand depression when we learn:<br />
- what symptoms depression can cause, and<br />
- how depression causes those symptoms.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>Symptoms Depression Can Cause </u></b><u></u><br />
<br />
This is a list of some of depression’s symptoms. I suffered from most of these while depressed. <br />
<br />
<u>Physical</u><br />
Aching jaw<br />
Aching shoulders<br />
Difficulty in breathing<br />
Dizziness<br />
Fatigue<br />
Headaches<br />
Heart-burn<br />
Insomnia<br />
Loss of appetite<br />
Missed heart beats<br />
Nausea<br />
Palpitating heart<br />
Prickling sensation in the limbs (feels like something crawling or biting beneath the skin)<br />
Racing heart<br />
Self-harm<br />
Sharp chest pains<br />
Stomach tension<br />
<br />
<u>Mental</u><br />
Fearful thoughts<br />
Mental churning<br />
Obsessive fearful thoughts<br />
Sluggish thinking<br />
<br />
<u>Emotional</u><br />
Anger<br />
Bewilderment<br />
Crying fits<br />
Fear of the symptoms outstrips the fear of depression’s original cause/s<br />
Feel depressed<br />
Feeling alone<br />
Irritability <br />
Loss of interest in life<br />
Low self esteem<br />
Panic attacks<br />
Self-hatred<br />
Suicidal Thoughts<br />
Transitory elation<br />
Withdrawal from relationships<br />
<br />
<u>Spiritual</u><br />
Anger towards God<br />
Anger towards Satan<br />
Compulsive repentance<br />
Feeling abandoned by God<br />
Guilt<br />
Unable to feel God’s presence<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>How Depression Causes those Symptoms</u></b><br />
<br />
When someone is depressed, their nervous system malfunctions and becomes over sensitive. A fearful thought that would have dismissed out of hand by a healthy mind, can become an obsessive fearful thought. Fears become larger than life – I remember being unable to differentiate between what I feared and what was real. Dr Weekes wrote, ‘A sudden or prolonged state of stress may sensitize adrenalin-releasing nerves to produce the symptoms of stress in an exaggerated, alarming way.’ (2)<br />
<br />
As the first symptoms of anxiety or depression start plaguing us, we unwittingly become our own worst enemy by reacting in one of the following ways:<br />
<br />
1) <i>we fear the symptom.</i> And even after a symptom fades away, we are so afraid that it will return that any minor trigger is all that is necessary to bring it back.<br />
2) <i>we try to flee the symptom</i>. We become afraid of the symptom and try to get away from it. However, the harder we run from it, the more we fear it, and the more powerful it becomes. <br />
3) <i>we fight the symptom.</i> Although this reaction feels more positive that fear or flight, it also makes the symptoms worse.<br />
<br />
Why does fearing, fleeing, or fighting the symptoms make them worse?<br />
<br />
Doctor Weekes calls it a ‘fear-adrenalin-fear cycle.’ Quite simply, all three reactions cause too much adrenalin to flow, and it is the adrenalin that causes the symptoms. It is a vicious cycle. The more we fear, flee or fight, the more adrenalin is released, and the worse we become, as the additional adrenalin prolongs symptoms and produces new, even more alarming ones. Soon we become terrified, thinking, “What else is going to happen to me?”<br />
<br />
The good news is that the cycle can be stopped. <br />
<br />
The first step is to recognize that the disturbing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sensations we are experiencing are caused by the cycle. Understanding this brings a huge sense of relief, a significant step in the journey of recovering from depression, as we can see from my diary entry below:<br />
<br />
28th July 1990 – <br />
<i>...for the last 8 months, as always, I've reacted to what was wrong with me in the same way. I have been scared of it, and feared all the many side effects and things that were going wrong with my mind, body, and emotions. And my other reaction has been to fight it. (I've even literally said that I wished this "thing" had a physical body, so I could beat the daylights out of it.) And now I learn from this book that these two reactions are the wrong reactions, because they both only make it worse. Basically, my nerves have fallen apart, and have been manufacturing too much adrenalin. When the symptoms come, I have feared and fought, and these have produced more adrenalin, which made me fear or fight more, and it just got worse and worse and worse. It’s a Catch-22 situation, a merry go round…Thank you Jesus for being faithful, for hearing and answering my prayers, and for showing me what's wrong with me.</i><br />
<br />
<i>‘Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.’</i> Psalm 119:34<br />
<br />
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(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p18.<br />
(2) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p6.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a free ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles </a>Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-80351226639197541342016-04-12T18:11:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:13:53.510+10:00Depression, Christians, and Anti-Depressant MedicationAlong with counseling or professional therapy to deal with the traumas associated with or causing depression, another crucial step in recovering from clinical depression is a consultation with a good doctor. (Note that by depression, I am referring to an illness, the symptoms of which generally include loss of interest in life, overwhelming sadness, obsessive fearful thoughts, fear that this bleak, distressing phase will never end, no hope for the future, and many other disturbing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual symptoms.)<br />
<br />
During the consultation we need to tell the doctor exactly what we are going through, we must not play down the symptoms. We also need to tell the doctor if we have been plagued by any suicidal thoughts or urges. Many doctors have a special checklist of questions regarding depression that they go through in order to ascertain our condition.<br />
<br />
The doctor should also investigate whether there are any health issues that could be causing the depression, such as food intolerances, and so on.<br />
<br />
Should the doctor recommend anti-depressant medication, we should seriously consider following the recommendation, and if we do, we must remain under the doctor’s supervision by having regular checkups and always following the doctor’s advice. <u>If we notice any unpleasant or disturbing side effects caused by the medication we need to consult with the doctor immediately.</u><br />
<br />
We also need to ignore the stigmas and negative attitudes that are often associated with anti-depressants such as, “Anti-depressants are a cop-out,” or, “You say you trust in God yet you rely on anti-depressants?” or, “How can you say God is all you need when you need pills to cope with life?” One reason anti-depressants are criticized in Christian circles is because they are taken by people who are not depressed in order to cope with problems instead of facing and dealing with them. Many also fear they will become addicted to anti-depressants.<br />
<br />
We should never feel guilty or inadequate for taking medication for depression, as clinical depression is an actual illness, and as an illness, needs to be treated. For example, I have complex partial epilepsy. If I do not take anti-seizure medication I suffer quite horrific seizures, cannot sleep, and am not permitted to drive. The medication I take stops the seizures, allows me to sleep, and I can drive. No one has ever criticized me or questioned the depth of my faith for my dependence on the medication. <br />
<br />
Before I went onto anti-depressants, my diary entries were completely devoid of hope, full of pain, despair, anger, guilt, and confusion. I was not sleeping, and my mind had lost all flexibility.<br />
<br />
25th March 1990 –<br />
<i>I feel like I’m in a room with invisible walls,<br />
But it’s so black in the room that I can’t see through the walls.<br />
And I am in the centre of the room.<br />
Where I go, the room goes, I can’t get out. </i><br />
<br />
The Christian counselor I was seeing told me during our first session that I should be on anti-depressants to help me cope with the illness. Here is the diary entry I wrote just before seeing the family doctor in 1990. We can see how my view of anti-depressants was dictated by fear and the stigmas attached to them by society. <br />
<br />
<i>I’m not coping with life at all. I don’t think I can cope with this lack of peace any longer. Tomorrow I’m going to see the doctor and get some pills that will give me peace. Tomorrow I’m going to take pills to help me cope with life, and it’s really hard. I feel like saying, “What happened to Your Word, Jesus, where You said You would comfort me?” But I know you are faithful and true, although I don’t understand, I must trust in you and fix my eyes on You through this storm. </i><br />
<br />
The doctor gave me an anti-depressant medication that included a mild tranquilizer, and my counselor gave me practical advice on how to take them. She explained that the pills would knock me out for the first week, so for that week I should take them earlier, until my body got used to them. She said that they would start to take effect in around two weeks. (I understand that some anti-depressants may take from three to six weeks.) This is what I wrote after the medication began to take effect.<br />
<br />
29th April 1990 –<br />
<i>A faint glimmer of hope,<br />
It’s amazing, absolutely amazing.<br />
It’s now been almost two weeks since I’ve wanted to end it.<br />
The temptation is to deny ever feeling like that,<br />
To say, ‘I can’t believe I felt like that.’<br />
But it was true, very true, far too real.<br />
All I wanted to do was die, or get away from the pain.<br />
So I guess these tablets must be working.<br />
I’ve been taking them for four weeks now.<br />
I was told it would take two weeks before they would start to take effect,<br />
And it did. </i><br />
<br />
As we can see, the anti-depressants greatly reduced the effects of depression. They dulled the pain and enabled me to sleep, an important part of the healing process. <br />
<br />
One point I would like to make very clear is that anti-depressants do not heal depression nor completely stop the pain. This was something I quickly realized:<br />
<br />
13th May 1990 –<br />
<i>It is so hard,<br />
The deep pain has gone, but I’m still a mess. </i><br />
<br />
However, with the deep pain gone and the symptoms dulled, I was able to concentrate on the task of recovery. I was able to listen to the counselor and slowly change my perspective on the things that I feared, and also put into practice the techniques recommended by Doctor Claire Weekes in ‘Self Help for Your Nerves.’ I do not believe I would have been able to accomplish this without the medication.<br />
<br />
Not including those individuals who need to remain on anti-depressants due to significant biological or mental disorders, when going onto anti-depressants we may need to remind ourselves that we do not take them to help us cope with life, but in order to concentrate on our goal of recovering from depression.<br />
<br />
It may help to consider anti-depressants as a step in a race, with the prize being recovery from depression so we can achieve wholeness in Christ. <i> ‘Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.’ </i> 1 Corinthians 9:24 Jesus wants us to be whole. <i> ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ </i>John 10:10. So let us press on towards recovery, never giving up. <i> ‘I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.’ </i> Philippians 3:14<br />
<br />
We must not fear that we will become addicted to or dependent upon the anti-depressants. If recovery from depression is our goal, and we address the causes of depression through counseling or therapy, that will never be an issue. If we find ourselves wanting to remain indefinitely on anti-depressants, more counseling or professional help is needed.<br />
<br />
In ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes writes, “Usually, when cured, the last thing these people want to see is one of those wretched capsules or a dose of that pink mixture.” (1)<br />
<br />
When we feel we have recovered sufficiently to get off the anti-depressants, this must be done with the doctor’s supervision, as getting off the medication too quickly causes problems. <br />
<br />
I reduced the dosage of my medication slowly over several weeks, under my doctor’s supervision, and I remember clearly the day I walked into a pharmacy and handed the pharmacist the box of remaining anti-depressants and said, “I don't need these anymore.” I was smiling when I walked out.<br />
<br />
(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p15.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download an updated pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a><br />
<br />
(All verses from the NIV)<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-26261989030645432962016-04-12T12:54:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:15:42.023+10:00Depression and Regular Physical ExerciseLearning karate in my late teens was not one of the smartest things I have ever done, primarily because it was subtly intertwined with eastern religious principles and philosophies. When I finally realized this, I quit karate before I did my black belt grading, as that required that I participate in a Buddhist/Shinto Senjo ceremony, and as a Christian, I could not do that.<br />
<br />
However, doing karate for two years had good points as well, the main one being that through it I achieved a very high level of physical fitness, and this had very positive effects upon every area of my life. During those two years my energy levels peaked, my mind became more flexible and alert, my immune system became stronger than ever before, and if I did get sick, I recovered very quickly. I also became more confident.<br />
<br />
Now although I knew that karate’s regular workouts had brought about these amazing changes in my life, after I quit karate I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Instead of searching for another avenue of physical exercise without an eastern religious component, I stopped exercising altogether.<br />
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As to be expected, over the next four years my health steadily returned to what it had been previously. I caught every sickness I encountered, they hit me hard, my mind lost some flexibility, my energy reserves ran out and it was a struggle to make it through each day. Admittedly, after I graduated from Bible College I did far too much, working fulltime as well as being an assistant pastor, yet that was compounded by my lack of health due to partaking in no regular physical exercise.<br />
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In 1990, while stuck in the depths of depression, I realized my mistake and started getting back into regular exercise. Initially I went jogging and did (lots!) of sit-ups, and then in 1991, when I was well on the road to recovery from depression, I joined a gym. At first I did weights and circuit. Circuit was fun, very energetic and a great cardiovascular workout. On the other hand, since my mind had nothing to do while pumping iron, doing weights saw me struggling with fearful churning thoughts. Yet all the same, I noticed that my quality of life was slowly improving on all levels.<br />
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In 1992, I changed from doing weights and circuit to doing aerobics three times a week. Aerobics proved to be a fantastic workout for the entire body, and even helped with my mental problems. I recall going to an aerobics class while in the midst of a panic attack on several occasions, only to be pleasantly surprised when the brisk exercise to music drove the attack away. <br />
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Having learnt my lesson, twenty years later I am still doing aerobics, as well as light hand weights at home several days a week. Being physically fit helps all areas of our lives. It can boost our immune system, reduces the effects of illnesses upon us, strengthens our bodies and helps prevent injuries, makes our minds more flexible and alert, boosts our confidence, lifts our emotions, and even improves our spiritual condition. <br />
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I encourage everyone to partake in regular physical exercise. A word of caution, though - if you are out of shape, take it slowly, one-step at a time. Start by going on three or four gentle 45-minute walks a week. After a few weeks of this, change this to brisk walks. Consider joining a pilates class and improve your flexibility. In addition, depending upon your age and level of fitness, consider embracing more energetic forms of exercise such as swimming, aerobics, bike riding, or jogging. Joining a gym can be very helpful as the classes they run provide motivation for those who find it hard to motivate themselves. Gymnasiums also have exercise bikes, treadmills, steppers, rowing machines, and weights. <br />
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Another word of caution - depending upon our age and level of fitness, it is worthwhile getting a check-up with a doctor before determining a suitable form of regular physical exercise. Doing too much exercise or unsuitable exercise could cause injuries. If joining a gym, book yourself in for a physical assessment before joining any classes or doing any weights, and the instructor will design a program especially suited for you. <br />
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Bearing in mind the comments I made about karate and its eastern religious content, please avoid yoga as its roots and purposes are inseparably bound with eastern religious philosophies as well. <br />
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Another important aspect of maintaining our physical health is a good diet, eating plenty of vegetables and fruit and drinking about eight cups of water a day. (If our health deteriorates upon such a diet, see a doctor immediately. Some people are fructose or gluten intolerant, and a healthy diet can cause depression in such a case. )<br />
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Gary R. Collins, Ph.D. shares the following advice for preventing depression, “Encourage physical fitness. Since poor diet and lack of exercise can make people depression-prone, people should always be encouraged – by word and example – to take care of their bodies. A healthy body is less susceptible to mental as well as to physical illness.” Christian Counselling, Word Publishing, 1980.<br />
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<i>‘Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.’</i> 1 Corinthians 6:19-20<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/~stonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download an ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles </a><br />
<br />
All verses from the NIV.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-68343568090877222322016-04-12T12:30:00.001+10:002016-07-18T00:17:17.272+10:00Depression: Good Days and Bad DaysMany if not most places in the world have fairly predictable weather. My wife is from Japan. A rainy season of twenty to thirty days of rain occurs every June, and every summer has a withering string of at least forty hot, humid days.<br />
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When someone who is used to consistent weather patterns migrates to the city of Melbourne (where I live) they are in for a bit of a shock. <br />
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We Melbournians patiently endure the cold days of winter while eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring and warmer weather. Spring finally arrives and with it comes a string of warmer, sunny days.<br />
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New comers rejoice, thinking that winter is finally over and that warmer weather has arrived! <br />
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But then without warning the warm spell vanishes, replaced by a cold snap akin to a typical winter day. Those new to Melbourne are caught unawares by this sudden return to the cold. Dressed in thin summer clothes, they shiver and often contract colds or worse. By rights, November, the month proceeding summer, should be nice and warm. Yet my grandmother, who migrated to Melbourne from Queensland, termed September to November the 'pneumonia months,' since these unexpected cold snaps caused so many illnesses. <br />
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In contrast to newcomers to Melbourne, the locals expect these abrupt changes in the weather. Throughout spring and even during December, we keep a jacket handy. If the weather turns suddenly cold, rather than be surprised and caught out, we don the jacket and stay warm. <br />
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Recovering from depression can be very much like Melbourne’s weather. Depression begins with a frigid, cold winter of despair and black hopelessness. Then as we begin to recover, it is similar to entering spring, and finally summer, or complete recovery. <br />
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Speaking from my own experience, once we start to feel better and realize we are improving, we may entertain thoughts such as, “that's it, I'm on the road to recovery, only clear sailing from here on it.”<br />
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Unfortunately, if we think this way we set ourselves up for a fall. Because like Melbourne’s spring weather, even when we begin to feel better, depression still has those cold snaps, those bad days, which can catch us completely by surprise – <i>unless we are expecting them.</i><br />
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That is the theme of this article – even when on the road to recovery we need to maintain realistic expectations and expect bad days or periods to afflict us from time to time. Otherwise when they come, we may become shocked, disappointed, downcast, and even fear we are regressing rather than improving. Such reactions of course do make us temporarily worse.<br />
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Yet if we know in advance that there will be these bad patches such as panic attacks, mental churning or the return of familiar disturbing sensations, then we can react calmly and head off a negative reaction that would intensify those symptoms. These bad patches are not significant, just a normal part of the healing process. It helps us a lot if we can accept these bad days without fearing or fighting, and simply wait for tomorrow, or the next day. We need to remind ourselves, “It's just one of those days, but it will end. More good times are ahead.” Sometimes it is a case of four steps forward, three back, two forwards, one back, but upon reflection we will see that we are actually moving forward.<br />
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This was something I learnt the hard way, as you can see from my diary.<br />
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16th May 1990 –<br />
<i>Two weeks ago I felt almost normal again,<br />
But was I too hopeful?<br />
The last two or three days have been almost as bad as before,<br />
And it has caught me off guard.<br />
A familiar disturbed sensation once again flooded my chest and emotions,<br />
And it was too much for me today.</i><br />
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I have several diary entries to this effect, but eventually, I became accustomed to the cycle of occasional bad days mixed with good ones, and I no longer bothered to record them in my diary. Instead, aware that I needed to let time pass, I concentrated on keeping my eyes fixed upon Jesus, pursuing hobbies, serving in the church, exercising, and so on.<br />
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So let us persevere and run the race Jesus has set before us, and keep our eyes fixed firmly upon Him, for He is our portion, our inheritance.<br />
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Hebrews 12:1 <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.’</span><br />
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Hebrews 12:2 <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.’</span><br />
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All verses from NIV.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-37077506445235681032016-04-12T12:30:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:16:27.087+10:00Learning Not to Fear our Own Thoughts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWF7OffRUlOsEB1g5V0ZgmKLZ1QoCc64x8qZDjW6xSSVOcBMITfQHKCnssn9Cw2AhrPchwrQJoKZvZhA7lRsDdxK5uPI_AV-dDI9eRn4h_19-sK6WnNda-X3KGlUx-elUWP_E7qr-mGhH_/s1600-h/dangermines.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329731368269101954" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWF7OffRUlOsEB1g5V0ZgmKLZ1QoCc64x8qZDjW6xSSVOcBMITfQHKCnssn9Cw2AhrPchwrQJoKZvZhA7lRsDdxK5uPI_AV-dDI9eRn4h_19-sK6WnNda-X3KGlUx-elUWP_E7qr-mGhH_/s200/dangermines.JPG" style="float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 132px;" /></a>I called my mind a ‘mindfield’ while suffering from depression, since so many unwanted, appalling thoughts would pop without warning into my mind and ‘BOOM’ - the thought, its implications, and my ensuing reaction would tear me apart, just as if I had stepped upon a landmine. These appalling thoughts, which often triggered panic attacks, came to terrorise me to the extent that I tried to ‘tip-toe’ around in my mind, sometimes scared to think anything at all.<br />
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From my diary, 1/4/93 –<br />
<i>I think of my mind as a never ending minefield<br />
I walk along inside my mind, forgetting not to yield<br />
to those fearful thoughts and doubts that cling like dust.<br />
I take a mental step and plant my foot right on a mine,<br />
and boom!<br />
There blows another one.<br />
At first I look at the mine and ponder,<br />
Before I realise that it's just another doubt<br />
and send it yonder.<br />
"Just let it go," I tell myself.<br />
"Don't give in to the fear, don't let it influence you."<br />
And I remove it with a mental shear.<br />
It is such a struggle at times.<br />
Most have to watch where they walk,<br />
But I have to watch where I think.</i><br />
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<br />
Here is an example of an alarming/appalling thought, also known as an obsessive fearful thought.<br />
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A strong Christian told me recently that a thought popped into her mind while she was praying, saying, “Satan is lord.” Her response was to freak out. Where did the thought come from? Did it come from her? If it did come from her, did that mean she really believed it? And if that was the case, there must be something seriously wrong with her!<br />
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Although such a thought could pop into anyone’s mind, a person with a healthy mind would dismiss the thought as utter nonsense, and pay it no heed. However, for someone with a sensitive mind or a mind that is over sensitized or exhausted by depression, such a thought can cause a shock the first time it occurs.<br />
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When similar alarming/appalling thoughts began to afflict me in my early twenties, (I had already suffered one mild depressive episode,) I reacted in the same way. I was greatly alarmed to find such thoughts flying through my mind and feared some part of me actually believed them. On each occasion I began a fearful, introspective examination of my heart and mind, digging deeper and deeper. “But what if I do believe this thought, what does it mean about me?” The more I examined the thought, the more I feared that I actually believed it or was guilty of what it was accusing. After these frantic sessions of fearful soul searching came repentance as I desperately asked God to forgive me for having the thought or attitude in the first place.<br />
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Not only did I fear these alarming/appalling thoughts; I lived in fear that more might come. And of course, more did come. Fearing them made me more sensitive to them, which of course made them occur more frequently. Panic attacks became more and more commonplace as well.<br />
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Now let us pop back to the discussion I had with the young woman who encountered one of these thoughts during her prayer time. Understandably, she was bewildered, afraid, feared where the thought came from, and scared that perhaps she did believe part of it.<br />
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I said to her, “All sorts of thoughts fly through our minds every day - some of these are whispered into our mind by Satan, while others are simply things we are afraid of. It does not matter where these fearful thoughts come from. All we need to know is that they are not from us and they are not what we believe - they are simply something we are afraid of. Now, answer me this, what do you believe about Satan?”<br />
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She answered that she believed he was a fallen angel, the devil, and that Jesus had defeated him through His work on the cross.<br />
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I said, “Now compare what you have just told me, which is not only what you believe, but what you know you believe, with the first fearful thought that popped into your mind.”<br />
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Her face lit up with comprehension and relief.<br />
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The result was black and white. The first thought, “Satan is lord,” was suddenly shown up for what it was - a lie, a deception. <i>It was not something this young woman believed, it was only something she </i>feared<i> she might believe.</i><br />
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Suddenly, the fearful thought had no power as the truth of God’s word revealed it to be a lie. I encouraged her not to fear such thoughts, and if they happened again, to do as below:<br />
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1. Do not be afraid if an alarming/appalling thought pops into our mind.<br />
2. Do not worry where the thought came from, whether from the enemy, or something we fear, it is not significant.<br />
3. STOP, and ask our self, what do we believe or know about that topic? (Base our answer upon God’s Word if possible.)<br />
4. COMPARE the original alarming/appalling thought with what we know we believe, and then keep the liberating truth in mind.<br />
5. Then move on and let time pass, leaving the episode behind. (Do not be concerned if the fear lingers for a while, remember the truth of what we believe, and the thought will soon fade away.)<br />
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The young woman was no longer worried but comforted and relieved. She also knew how to deal with any such thoughts that came at her in the future. I assured her, “Soon you will be able to dismiss such thoughts by simply thinking at them, <i>‘Oh, you’re one of those thoughts are you? Bye-bye!’</i> And eventually, you won’t even need to do that.”<br />
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The truth is that these thoughts are not actually something we are afraid we might do or believe - because we would never do or believe such things. The truth is that we are afraid of the thoughts themselves.<br />
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I remember the release I received upon learning I had been tricked into being afraid of my own (or the enemy's) thoughts. It was so comforting to know that I no longer needed to dig feverishly through my heart and mind searching for attitudes or beliefs that were not even there in the first place. I am indebted to the Lord for setting me free from that trap.<br />
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<i>"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."</i> John 8:32<br />
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So let us rely upon the truths of God’s word to set us free from fearful thoughts as we remind ourselves of what we know we believe.<br />
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<i>We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.</i> 2 Corinthians 10:5<br />
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(A small postscript, due to very severe depression or mental illness, there are situations where people not only have bad thoughts but actually desire or attempt to carry them out. In these cases, they need to seek professional help immediately, such as from a doctor or Christian therapist.)<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a><br />
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All verses from the NIV.<br />
<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-53773125857435179822016-04-12T01:25:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:15:14.654+10:00Dealing with Fearful ThoughtsI had received one of those phone calls you never want to receive. “Peter, the school just rang,” said my wife. “Our daughter fell off the playground equipment and hurt her arm. She’s in sickbay, can you go and see if she is okay?”<br />
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I got permission to leave work and drove straight to school. When I got to sickbay, I grieved at the sight of my ten-year-old daughter lying on the sickbed, tear streaked face contorted in agony. She had fallen backwards from the top of the playgym and landed on her right wrist. Lifting the arm gently, I saw massive swelling just below the wrist. <br />
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I rang my wife and said, “Her arm’s broken, so I’ll take her to hospital.”<br />
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“No, Papa, no, I don’t want to go to hospital,” wailed my daughter as fearful images conjured by a mind plagued with pain flooded through her.<br />
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“It will be okay, the hospital will know exactly what to do to help your arm get better,” I assured her.<br />
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“Noooo,” she sobbed, her fears convincing her that the hospital would only cause more pain. <br />
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After the school’s office staff put her arm in a splint, it took some coaxing to get my daughter onto her feet. Then I put my arm around her and walked her towards the car park.<br />
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As soon as she was engaged in the activity of walking, as opposed to lying on the sickbed with nothing to do but focus on the pain in her arm and the fears of what would come next, she began to look and feel better. The colour returned to her face, she stopped crying, and she even managed to talk to her friends who followed us. By the time we reached my car, I even elicited some laughs from her.<br />
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And there lies an important lesson for those suffering from depression and anxiety. When fearful thoughts come flooding in, the worse thing we can do is to sit or lie down and examine, consider and debate those thoughts. Our mind, already fatigued, becomes even more sluggish, and the fears get blown further and further out of proportion. Adrenalin flows excessively, causing disturbing sensations to abound and we spiral ever downwards.<br />
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In contrast, we can see that constructive activity was the best thing my daughter could do. <br />
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On one occasion back in 1990, when I lay curled on my bed churning over the fears that haunted me, I somehow managed to fix my eyes upon Jesus and He said, “Come on Peter, you don't need to do this. Come with Me - I have lots of constructive things for us to do together.” So I got off the bed, sat at my desk and painted some models. As this distracted me from focusing upon the fearful thoughts, they began to lose their intensity and slowly faded into the background.<br />
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Now that I have recovered from depression, I find it much easier to fix my eyes upon Jesus when assaulted by fears. <i>Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. </i> Hebrews 12:2. I reflect on John 14:1 <i> “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” </i>And as I trust in Him I am able to shrug off those fears.<br />
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However, a mind exhausted by depression’s endless cycle of obsessive fearful thoughts loses its flexibility and resilience, and is therefore unable to shrug off fears or focus upon Jesus by choice alone. I know this because I tried with all of my strength and failed. <br />
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I became so exasperated by my inability to break free from those fearful thoughts that I said to my counsellor, “I can't stop thinking these obsessive fearful thoughts - I try and try, but I just can't stop!” <br />
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Her answer was to run me through a practical exercise that illustrated why force of will was insufficient to stop thinking fearful thoughts for someone who is depressed. I will now share that exercise below.<br />
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I would like to ask you, the reader, to do something right now - please think of an elephant. Picture it in your mind - think of its huge, floppy ears, that long curling trunk, those twin ivory tusks, the powerful legs. <br />
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Now stop thinking about the elephant. <br />
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You failed, yes? You are still thinking about the elephant.<br />
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Now let us try that again. Please think of an elephant. Picture it in your mind - think of its huge, floppy ears, that long curling trunk, those twin ivory tusks. <br />
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Now, please picture in your mind the cover of your favourite novel. What colour is the title text? What image is on the cover? Does this image accurately represent the story in the novel? Did the book’s cover influence your decision to read or buy the book? Should a book be judged by its cover?<br />
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Now, have you noticed that you are no longer thinking of an elephant?<br />
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When suffering from depression we cannot break out of the cycle of fearful thoughts by will power alone. However, by concentrating on a constructive activity we distract ourselves from focusing on them. The fears lose their intensity and slowly fade away.<br />
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Constructive activity could include going for a walk, jogging, washing the car, gardening, and especially hobbies. Activity weakens fear’s grip on our mind by giving us something else to focus on, and therefore brings relief.<br />
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It may be very hard at first to put steps like this into practice. There will be good days and bad days. We must not let the bad days discourage us. We need to be mindful that as we keep at it and rely upon Christ’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) and let time pass, while staying constructively busy, we will gradually improve. As we retrain our mind we will break the habit of focusing upon fearful thoughts, and will eventually be able to dismiss them with ease. We will be able to keep our eyes fixed firmly upon Jesus and trust in Him. <br />
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<b><u>Some practical steps in dealing with fearful thoughts:</u></b><br />
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1. Recognise it is a fearful thought and remind ourselves that:<br />
a. it is just a fearful thought<br />
b. it has no real power and no significance<br />
c. I do not even believe what it is saying!<br />
d. I do not need to debate it, consider it, or listen to it.<br />
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2. Then while trusting in God and His Word, busy ourselves in a constructive activity, leaving the fearful thought at the back of our mind, like background music, where it will soon fade away.<br />
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3. If the fears clamour for our attention and we are secretly terrified of what they are insinuating, we need to remind ourselves that they are only a trick, a deception. <br />
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The Bible says, <i> “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.” </i> 1 Peter 5:8-9. Of special significance is that the Bible says Satan is only <i>like</i> a roaring lion – he relies upon trickery and deception. <br />
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The Bible also says, <i> “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” </i> James 4:7. That is a great promise to stand upon.<br />
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Let us remember: <i>For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. </i>2 Timothy 1:7 AMPPeter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-65819884902214645422016-04-12T00:49:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:12:10.322+10:00Why Won’t God End My Suffering?Everyone suffers, Christian and non-Christian. Job 5:7 <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Yet man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.’</span> <br />
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However, I have noticed that those of us who are Christians often respond to suffering in one of two ways:<br />
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a) we know that God has the power to end the suffering and set us free, but when He does not do so quickly, we are frustrated and tormented by this knowledge. This is what I wrote in my diary on 14th June 1990, <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Why won’t Jesus help me - His Name is Saviour, so why am I failing so helplessly. All He needs to do is speak to my inner storm and say, “Peace, be still!” And then I will be whole again.’</span> I spent several months in this phase, knowing He could miraculously end the depression, then getting angry with Him because He did not do so. Overwhelming guilt for getting angry with Him instead of trusting Him followed this. <br />
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b) another common reaction is to think the trial is the result of concealed sin in our life. We begin a soul-searching witch-hunt trying to find that sin. I spent hours praying, searching my heart and mind, tearing myself to pieces as I tried to uncover concealed sins – all to no avail. <br />
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James 1:2-4 teaches us what reaction we should have, but it is a very difficult verse to learn to put into practice. <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’</span><br />
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This teaches us that trials:<br />
a) are going to come our way<br />
b) and will do so for a reason<br />
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At first I struggled (and failed) to put James 1:2-4 into practice while depressed. Romans 8:28 says, <span style="font-style: italic;">‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’</span> Yet we may well say, “What good could ever possibly come into my life through this?!”<br />
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It was only after I accepted that depression was part of my life and stopped fighting and fearing it, that I was able to put James 1:2-4 into practice. At that time I thanked and praised God for what He was doing in me <span style="font-style: italic;">through</span> the depression, and <span style="font-style: italic;">for</span> the depression as well. I recognised His sovereignty - that He was in control - and was using it for good, and would use it for good. Recovery from depression begins in earnest when we reach this place - it also releases the power of God’s grace into our lives.<br />
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<b>Trials Develop Our Faith</b><br />
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This then is the first reason God allows trials to come our way – He uses them to develop our faith and maturity and to fashion us into the image of Christ. This can be very painful, but is well worth it in the end.<br />
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(A small post script here too. Note that James says ‘face trials of <span style="font-style: italic;">many</span> kinds.’ He does not say ‘all kinds.’ We can avoid some trials by simply walking away from them. Others are spiritual attacks that can be torn down with the spiritual weapons we have in Jesus. And in other cases, God does free us from them miraculously. But we need God’s wisdom to recognise what kind of trial we are experiencing. Too often people think depression is a spiritual attack that can be stopped instantly, or an illness that should be healed on the spot.)<br />
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<b>Trials Teach us to Rely Upon Christ's Strength</b><br />
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There is a second reason God allows us to undergo trials. It is during these times that we learn to rely upon Christ’s strength, rather than upon our own. We come to realise that Christ’s grace and provision is truly all we need to persevere. <br />
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Paul learnt this lesson through his own sufferings, as revealed in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [a thorn in my flesh] away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’</span><br />
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To surrender control of our life to Jesus, and to accept the suffering instead of fighting and pleading for it to end, is a difficult lesson to learn. But we can rest assured that Jesus will never put us through something that we cannot overcome with His assistance. Philippians 4:12-13 <span style="font-style: italic;">‘I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’</span><br />
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The other day, while reading the diary I kept while depressed, I was amazed to find this entry from March 1990.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">March already. To think that I was expecting this year to be the best I have had yet. It’s a nightmare, and the worst I can remember. In light of all this, I have been thinking of marriage in two ways. On one hand, I’m in favour of never getting married. If I’m going to go through things like this again and again, then I do not want to burden any poor woman with me. On the other hand, I will not mind going through things such as this, if my wife will go through such things too. In which case, at that time I will understand what she is going through, and I will simply support her, accept her, place no pressure on her, and I will give her as long as she needs to come out of it.</span><br />
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I had no idea how prophetic that entry was. My wife did indeed suffer from depression, and because I had been there previously, I was able to support her through it.<br />
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<b>Trials Equip Us to Help Others</b><br />
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This then is a third reason God allows us to suffer. These trials equip us to comfort and encourage others who face the same trials. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 describes the process perfectly. <span style="font-style: italic;">Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.</span><br />
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Our Lord and Saviour Jesus endured trials on Earth, for that very same purpose. Because He went through them, He is able to comfort and support us.<br />
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Hebrews 4:14-16 <span style="font-style: italic;">‘Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.’</span><br />
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In Isaiah 9:6 we read that one of Jesus’ names is Counsellor, or Comforter. <span style="font-style: italic;">‘For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.’ </span><br />
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So be encouraged that Jesus is able to comfort us because He experienced trials too, and be further encouraged that we go through trials such as depression so that we can later comfort and support others who are going through it. I like to think of myself as a signpost that shows others suffering from depression the way to learn to live with it, and then overcome it.<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/~stonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a><br />
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(All verses from the NIV)<br />
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<br />Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com98tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-76672043443823057312016-04-12T00:34:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:14:26.927+10:00Facing Distressing Symptoms instead of Dreading ThemDepression, along with chronic illnesses and disabilities, can afflict us with disturbing symptoms so distressing that we believe we cannot possibly live with them. Here is my story on how I learnt to cope with one such distressing symptom.<br />
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When I was in my late thirties, the deep rumbling sound in my ears that had began in my late teens, had become rather severe. I was suffering from tinnitus, a condition that produces noises in the ears that are not caused by external sounds. (I have otosclerosis, an inherited disease that causes the calcification of the bones of the middle ear.) Along with the deep rumbling I could also ‘hear’ a loud waterfall, a birdcage full of screeching budgerigars, hissing white noise, and an endless deep monotone humming.<br />
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Things came to a head one night in the latter part of 2003, at 3.00am in the morning. A new tinnitus sound, which had initially come and gone intermittently, was threatening to become a permanent fixture. It sounded like someone pushing a very, very heavy wooden desk across a rough timber floor, and buzzed with an irregular rhythm with a one or two second gap between each buzz. <br />
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It was so loud and unsettling that I lay in bed for hours, dreading each subsequent buzz, hoping and praying that it would stop and go away, as it had each time during the past week.<br />
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I used every argument in the book in the prayers I lifted heavenward. “I can’t live like this, Lord! Haven’t I suffered enough, do I have to have this too? Please Lord, make it stop! The rest of the ear noises are bad enough but this one is unbearable!” <br />
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Receiving no discernable response from God, I staggered to the kitchen, hoping to find something to help me sleep, yet by the time I got there, I was consumed by rage at the injustice of this situation. I could not live with a deafeningly loud buzzing sound tearing apart my concentration and setting my nerves on edge, destroying my sleep and ability to relax.<br />
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Yet as I looked out the kitchen window into the darkness, I recalled that this was not the first time I had been afflicted with unwanted disturbing symptoms that I believed I could not live with. <br />
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Years earlier, I had been afflicted by dozens of unwanted mental, physical, emotional and spiritual symptoms while suffering from severe depression. Desperate to escape those symptoms, I had reacted by fighting or fearing them, which not only made those symptoms worse but also caused new ones to appear. <br />
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The most distressing symptom of depression for me was the lack of peace, where I felt disturbed and ill at ease all the time. I thought that if I could regain that inner peace I would be able to cope with life again.<br />
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From my diary, 7th July ’90 -<br />
<i>I just wish this sensation of being disturbed all the time would go away.<br />
And know it will never come back.<br />
I am not coping, and I know that.<br />
I keep saying, "If I had inner peace, then I would cope."</i><br />
<br />
Other symptoms I believed I could not cope with included:<br />
<br />
From my diary, 20th July ’90 -<br />
<i>Sometimes my shoulder muscles ache to abandon,<br />
the aching pain in my jaw drives me crazy.<br />
My face and arms get a burning, prickling sensation.<br />
My stomach feels trapped, as though it needs to burst,<br />
my chest feels like it’s going to explode.<br />
And as there are physical problems, so there are emotional ones.<br />
They vary from a feeling that something big and dark will consume me,<br />
to endless mental churnings that only makes me worse.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
And now back to 2003. There I was at 3.00am in the morning, reacting to this new tinnitus noise in the same way as I had reacted to depression’s symptoms - trying to flee from or fight it. <br />
<br />
So waiting on Jesus, I cast my mind back to remember how I had dealt with depression’s symptoms. Dr Claire Weekes book, “Self Help for Your Nerves,” had taught me to face the disturbing, unwanted symptoms caused by anxiety. She wrote, <i>‘I have no doubt that you are tensely shrinking from the feelings within you and yet, are ready to “listen in” in apprehension?...Now examine and do not shrink from the sensations that have been upsetting you. I want you to examine each carefully, to analyse and describe it to yourself...Do not tensely flinch from it. Go with it. Relax and analyse it…Now that you have faced and examined it, is it so terrible?’</i> (1)<br />
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So I took those same techniques and applied them to my current situation. Instead of dreading the disturbing new tinnitus noise and listening to it apprehensively, I faced it. Yes, it was bad, and I most certainly did not want it, but as I stood there listening to it, was it really so unbearable? Was it so bad that I could not think, function, or live? <br />
<br />
No! Although bad, I could still think, function and live. I recognised that the worst aspect of this situation was my reaction to it – fearing and fighting it and convincing myself that I could not live with it. So I acknowledged there was nothing I could do to make the tinnitus go away and I accepted it instead of fighting and fearing it. I even thanked God for allowing this trial to come my way and asked Him to use it for good. After all, God is in control and there was no need for my heart to be troubled. <br />
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Instead of saying, “I can’t live like this!” I decided that I would learn to live with it and let it buzz, roar, and rumble away as though background music to my day. Instead of fearfully dreading the arrival of each new BUZZ, I let them come. If I had to live like this for the rest of my life, then so be it. Paul said that he had learned to be content whatever his circumstances, and by Christ’s strength, I would follow his example. <br />
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Comforted by God’s peace, I climbed back into bed, and although the hideous sound continued to buzz in my head, I was soon asleep. <br />
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And the good news is that by responding to depression’s symptoms in this way - by facing, accepting, learning to live with them as though background music to our day, and letting time pass, it breaks the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle, causing those symptoms to gradually reduce in severity and frequency, until they fade away completely. (More detail on this in the next article.)<br />
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<i>‘I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.’</i> Philippians 4:12-13 <br />
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p.s. - By God’s grace, an operation in 2005 that restored about 70% mid-range hearing to my left ear also reduced the tinnitus to about half what it was – that horrific buzzing sound is gone.<br />
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(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p21. <br />
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Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-67257001155294728732016-04-12T00:24:00.000+10:002016-07-18T00:18:26.521+10:00Depression, Momentary Elation, & Setting Realistic ExpectationsDepression is one of the most confusing ailments that can afflict us. Not only are we stricken by despair, loss of hope, anxiety, panic attacks, and dozens of other unpleasant physical, emotion and mental symptoms, but we may also experience moments of giddy elation. <br />
<br />
From my diary, several weeks after the onset of severe depression:<br />
<br />
31st Jan ’90 – <i>I feel like the Melbourne weather. I regularly get extremely angry, very angry…even with God. And then, half an hour later, I want to cry, in despair and loneliness, or just cry because I feel extremely sad for some reason. And I even feel extreme momentary excitement every now and then. What has happened to me?</i><br />
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At the time I could not fathom why I was feeling so bad all the time, and the existence of these moments of elation just added to the confusion. <br />
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I did not realize that my nervous system had become exhausted to the point of collapse and no longer functioned within normal parameters. As well as releasing endless streams of negative adrenalin into my body, it also occasionally misfired in the opposite direction, causing a wave of unexplainable excitement. For a few seconds I felt so good, as though on top of the world, only to crash back to the miry black pit of woe immediately afterwards. Once I understood that this was just another symptom of depression, I was no longer confused by these episodes.<br />
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(Please note that the moments of elation I experienced rarely lasted for more than a few seconds. Hypomania or mania - characteristics of bipolar depression - are somewhat different. These episodes can last for several days, and along with euphoria may include periods of increased activity, poor judgement, and restlessness. I have not experienced bipolar depression, so I am only going by what I have read about it.) <br />
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<u>Setting Realistic Expectations</u><br />
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I also noticed during depression’s initial stages that I sometimes felt tempted to embark on a grand new venture that would send my life in an entirely new direction. <br />
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For example, in November 1989, prior to my becoming depressed, I received an offer to join another church planting team. This offer was later shelved due to a change in plans. When I became severely depressed, and before I knew what was wrong with me, I tried to carry on with ‘life as usual,’ even contemplating going out to plant a new church by myself. Although my mind at this time was so exhausted by never ending panic attacks, I still somehow considered starting new ventures such as this. My perspective of my own condition and abilities was completely distorted.<br />
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I never acted on the compulsion to plant a new church, which was good as I would not have been able to carry it through. And had I attempted to do so and failed, I would have felt even worse. Fortunately, I soon realized that I was in no condition to start any major new projects and formed a more realistic expectation of my abilities based on my current condition. Instead, I worked at keeping myself constructively occupied, but I was careful not to commit to anything that I could not cope with.<br />
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So my advice to anyone who is suffering from depression and who is considering embarking on a major new venture is to give the idea to God and let Him carry it, and then shelve the idea, resist submitting to it, and it will mostly likely fade away. If the idea does not fade away, I recommend getting a second opinion from someone such as a pastor/counselor or wise friend, and trust their judgment over our own. <br />
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We do not need to stop living while recovering from depression, but need to be mindful that we are in a recovery phase and need plenty of rest. We need to set realistic goals for ourselves, and to maintain realistic expectations. Recovering from depression is like recovering from any other illness, it takes time, and we need to go easy on ourselves during that time. <br />
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Psalm 23:1-3<br />
<i>The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.<br />
He makes me lie down in green pastures,<br />
he leads me beside quiet waters,<br />
he restores my soul.<br />
He guides me in paths of righteousness<br />
for his name's sake.</i><br />
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Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-83182906666429962692015-12-27T13:35:00.000+11:002016-04-25T00:52:52.939+10:00Depression and the Search for an Instant 'Answer’Depression was the most confusing and bewildering experience of my life. I did not know what was wrong with me or what was causing it, and spent countless hours searching for that cause. I truly believed that if I could pin down the cause, I would find an ‘answer’ or solution that would bring instant recovery from the multitude of symptoms that assailed me. <br />
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6th January 1990 - <br />
<i>I am a mess and I still don’t know why. I see several possibilities as to what is happening to me: <br />
a) I have suffered a major burnout…if this is correct, for the next six to twelve months I will run around looking for ‘the answer…’ </i> (I had suffered an undiagnosed minor depressive episode in 1986 and spent the whole time doing exactly that.) <br />
<i>b) I need deliverance from something inside me or from a major external attack; <br />
c) I need deep inner healing or renewing; <br />
d) that maybe God is telling me that my Christian walk is unbalanced..."<br />
e) that the enemy has developed a strategy of throwing doubts at me, which I analyse to the point that it destroys that area of my faith.<br />
g) or maybe a combination of the above. </i><br />
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I have many such entries in my diary, written before I was diagnosed with depression by a doctor and a Christian counsellor. These entries reveal that I often feared that the intense suffering I was going through was caused by spiritual causes and required only a spiritual solution. It is common for Christians suffering from depression to suspect this, since their spiritual life is so clearly off balance. Because of this, they may find themselves asking questions like these: “Perhaps God is not the centre of my life like He should be? Perhaps this suffering is caused by hidden sin in my life? Perhaps I am unwittingly living in disobedience to God? And if any of these are indeed the case, has God has inflicted this suffering upon me to punish or discipline me?”<br />
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Some Christian circles also view depression as just a spiritual problem that requires only a spiritual solution. Some tell depression sufferers that they just need more faith, or to read the Bible and pray more, or to rebuke the enemy - that it is nothing more than a concerted spiritual attack. (And yes, Satan does attack those who are suffering from depression, but as my counsellor confirmed, this was not the cause of my depression but merely one aspect of it.) <br />
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Because I suspected my suffering had a spiritual cause, I kept searching for a spiritual answer in the belief that such an answer would instantly set me free. I believed that if I were to just take one particular step of obedience, or make one significant change in my spiritual life, or find and repent of a hidden sin, the depression will go away. My exhausted mind kept searching for what was causing the suffering, and because my spiritual life mattered more to me than anything else, my mind latched onto a spiritual topic that troubled me. As I examined and debated that topic, I become convinced that it was the cause of my suffering, and in the end, that topic became an obsession that took over my thought life. <br />
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In my first session with my Christian counsellor, I shared with her my fear that it was God who was inflicting depression upon me. And she said, “We make the mistake in thinking that because our spiritual life is affected by depression, the cause must be spiritual. But this is incorrect; depression touches every part of us, so why do we think that it will not touch us spiritually?” She then reassured me of the truth - that God does not afflict depression upon anyone. Using God’s Word, she showed me that my fears were unjustified and helped me to find the correct, Biblical perspective on each of them. <i>We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. </i>2 Corinthians 10:5<br />
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For example, the symptom of depression that disturbed me the most was the complete lack of peace, which I erroneously believed to be God’s attempt to guide me. My counsellor confirmed that God does not take our peace away, but gives us a peace that transcends our understanding. <i>And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. </i>Phillipians 4:7 And also, <i>Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” </i>John 14:27 <br />
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As depression dragged on, my diary entries also show me realising that there was much more to what I was going through than simply a spiritual problem, due to the host of physical, emotional and mental symptoms of depression that were afflicting me too. Yet even there, I kept looking for ‘the answer’ that would instantly set me free.<br />
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24th Sept 90 – (this was written after I knew what was wrong with me and how to recover.)<br />
<i>I can remember that amongst the bewilderment, some of the things I wondered were as follows: <br />
since it was so physical as well as emotional, I wondered if it was caused by food allergies, so I considered seeing a specialist; I wondered if there was something wrong with my neck or back, so I was going to see a chiropractor; I wondered if it was caused by my car seat being set back, so I considered putting it forward; I wondered if it was caused by something being wrong with my eyes; and so on it went. Of course, none of these things had anything to do with what was causing the depression, but how was I to know? </i> (These were all symptoms caused by the depression.)<br />
<br />
I learned that there is no single ‘answer’ to be instantly set free from depression, and that it is not easy for us to determine what is causing it by ourselves, since we cannot think objectively while in the midst of it. That is why others, such as a doctor, minister, Christian counsellor/therapist, a wise Christian friend, and even a resource such as the book "Self Help for Your Nerves," can help us to wade through the bewildering mess to find out the causes of depression, and point us in the right direction to recover. In the end I learned that my depression had been caused primarily by genetic inheritance (both of my parents had suffered from it), however, many other factors contributed to its severity and duration: including undiagnosed complex partial epilepsy, chronic insomnia, working myself into the ground, poor diet and lack of exercise, a massive shock, faulty theology, etc. <br />
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Depression is a complex illness and normally needs to be treated, which may include medication and Biblical counselling/therapy. <i>And like any illness, even with the correct treatment, recovery and healing is a process that occurs over time.</i> And when the causes of depression and its associated fears/traumas have been dealt with and the fear-adrenalin-cycle has been broken, the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual symptoms will slowly reduce in severity and duration and eventually fade away. And our spiritual life will not only be restored, but can in fact be better than it was previously, as a result of the strengthening of our faith during the trial, as well as being set free from traumas/bondages from our past.<br />
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<i>Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. </i> James 1:12<br />
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<i> ‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’ </i>James 1:2-4<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/%7Estonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download an ebook on depression, ie, this blog's articles </a><br />
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All verses from NIV.Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-1908187628692854162015-12-27T01:51:00.000+11:002016-04-25T00:53:19.157+10:00Dealing with Self-HateThis is what I wrote in my diary, on the 13th March 1990, three months into depression: <i>I feel inadequate - I hate myself. It feels like God hates me (even though I know He loves me) but I can’t stand myself. </i><br />
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Only three months earlier, my life had been full of purpose. I was serving as an assistant pastor in a local church, involved in pastoral care, discipleship, the music team, and preaching. I was also working towards serving as a missionary in Asia. I fully expected 1990 to be one of the best years of my life.<br />
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Yet due to undiagnosed complex partial epilepsy, chronic insomnia, overworking through the whole year, suffering a massive shock, and worsening panic attacks, my life fell apart at the end of 1989. Shock, bewilderment, confusion, denial, fear and anger raged through me as a multitude of depression’s symptoms tore my life to pieces. In the first week of 1990 I had become so despondent that I abandoned my life dream of becoming a pastor and a missionary and left the ministry. I soon found myself unable to face people and lost contact with almost everyone I knew. <br />
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15th May /1990 – <br />
<i>Self-hate keeps descending upon me like a swarm of angry hornets.I look at myself and find nothing but contempt for this pathetic person I have become. </i><br />
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I prayed non-stop to be whole again, but to no avail. All day, every day, I suffered from disturbing mental, physical and emotional discomfort. I was certain that my mind and body were plotting and raging spitefully against me and this drove me to distraction. I felt completely useless and utterly worthless.<br />
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6th July 1990 – <br />
<i>My reaction to this lack of peace is to hate myself, to think that I'm useless, and to wonder why my emotions continue to stuff me around like this. Can't my emotions tell that they have ruined me, and are ruining me? </i><br />
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It is easy to see how such suffering and negative changes in our life can destroy our self-concept and lead to self-hate, taking depression to deeper depths. <br />
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The purpose of this article is to encourage those experiencing self-hate, by showing that although these feelings seem to be justified, they are in fact a lie, and have no place in our lives. <br />
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We cannot throw off such feelings overnight, but we can re-train our underlying thought processes and conform them to God’s Word, bringing wholeness and relief.<br />
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We Need to Be Patient with Ourselves<br />
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The first thing we need to do is to recognise that we are ill. Depression is an illness, just as is diabetes, or deafness. In late 2004 I was admitted to hospital to receive major surgery on my left ear, which was deaf. The bones of my middle ear were replaced by a titanium prosthesis. I spent three days in hospital after the operation followed by two weeks at home. For the next three months I was not permitted to partake in any strenuous exercise. <br />
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No one would look at me in that situation and criticise me for ‘taking it easy.’ Nor did I hate myself for ceasing so many of life’s normal activities for three months. This is the attitude we need to take towards depression. Recognise it is an illness, be patient with ourselves and allow ample time for recovery, even if it takes months or years. We must be careful to recognise our limitations and not have unrealistic goals or expectations. This does not mean that we should hide from the world, only that we do not expect too much of ourselves.<br />
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Do Not Look Back <br />
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One of the biggest pitfalls of depression is to look back wistfully at what we used to be like, and lament over how low we have fallen – we would give anything to be like that again. I spent hours and hours ruminating over the past and wishing I could go back there or be like that again. This process is counter-productive - it only makes us worse. <br />
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The Christian counselor I saw taught me this - to be in deep surrender to God really means to never look back with regret upon the past, nor forward to any wish of what we want to be like in the future. Comparing ourselves to what we used to be, or what we want to be like, is a hindrance to resting in God's will. We must be content to be who He made us to be today, to be content to be where He put us today, and to be content to be how He made us to be today. <br />
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Let us again consider Philippians 4:12-13 <i> ‘I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’ </i><br />
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How Does God View Us?<br />
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While suffering from depression we cannot trust our own opinion of ourselves. A friend who had experienced depression told me, “We can’t see properly in times like this. Our feelings completely distort our world view and vision.” <br />
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So let us look at how God views us, and then view ourselves through Jesus’ eyes.<br />
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Genesis 1:26 says, Then God said, <i>"Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." </i> We are not the chance result of millions of years of evolution, but created in God’s very image. <br />
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The Bible says that although we are sinners, we still have great significance and value. Psalm 8:4-5 says, <i> ‘What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honour.’ </i><br />
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Even in our fallen, sinful condition, the Bible shows us just how much God loves us. <i>But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. </i>Romans 5:8. God did not wait for us to become perfect before He loved us; He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die in our place so that our relationship with God can be restored.<br />
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Hebrews 12:2 says <i>Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. </i>What was that joy set before Jesus that motivated Him to die for us? It tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:10 <i>He died for us so that, whether we are awake (on earth) or asleep (in heaven), we may live together with him. </i> Jesus treasures us so greatly that He wants us to share our whole life with Him.<br />
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John 1:12-13 tells us that <i> ‘to all who received Jesus, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.’ </i> Those who believe in Christ are God’s very own children!<br />
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Psalm 17:8 tells us that we are God’s treasure. <i>Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. </i> It always encourages me when I think of Jesus looking at me as His treasure.<br />
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2 Corinthians 5:21 says, <i>God made Jesus, who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Jesus we might become the righteousness of God. </i>This means that when God looks at us, He does not see our old, sinful nature, or our problems. He sees the purity and righteousness of Jesus in us instead.<br />
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Romans 8:1 reinforces that. <i>Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. </i> This is a very important lesson for us to learn. Do not let guilt and condemnation trip our feet. Jesus has forgiven us and cast our sins into the deepest sea! <br />
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God comes to live in our hearts if we ask Him. John 14:23 says, Jesus replied, <i>"If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. </i> We are God’s temple - what an honour! <br />
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Zephaniah 3:17 is one of my favourite verses in the Bible, because it shows exactly how God thinks of His children. <i>"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." </i><br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/~stonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a>Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-55286592245525039822015-12-26T00:45:00.000+11:002016-04-25T00:56:07.250+10:00What does 'when I am weak, then I am strong' mean?Many wonder what “when I am weak, then I am strong” means. At first glance, the statement does not seem to make any sense and even seems to contradict itself. How can someone possibly be weak and strong at the same time? Surely we can be one or the other, but not both?<br />
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The apostle Paul wrote these words when he was struggling with an issue that he described as a ‘thorn in the flesh.’ We do not know exactly what was troubling him, but the severity of this trial was obviously so terrible that it greatly weakened him.<br />
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<i>‘Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [a thorn in my flesh] away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ </i> 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. NIV.<br />
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When our lives are running smoothly and devoid of trials, we have a tendency to rely upon our own human strength – strength that cannot compare in any way to Christ’s almighty, divine strength. <br />
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However, when our life is beset with difficulties and storms, our strength fades away and we become weak. Yet in these times of personal weakness we can turn to Jesus and rely upon His divine strength, and through that strength, face and endure those storms. And when we are relying upon Christ’s almighty strength instead of upon our own inadequate strength, we are <i>really</i> strong.<br />
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The Amplified Bible’s expansion of this Bible passage, explains it perfectly:<br />
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<i>Three times I called upon the Lord and besought [Him] about this and begged that it might depart from me; But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength). </i><br />
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I have endured much in my life, with a sickly childhood, rejection, bullying, epilepsy and deafness, but it was when I was severely depressed that I was at my weakest. Here are some things I wrote in my diary:<br />
<i>I wish I had the wings of an eagle,<br />
for I grow faint, physically and emotionally<br />
I feel so inadequate, so helpless, so full of fears. <br />
Irritation, frustration and anger rise up and consume me,<br />
and I’m so weak I can’t even fight them. </i><br />
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Yet in spite of this weakness, I sought Jesus throughout the ordeal with every fibre of my being, praying, worshipping and praising Him, waiting on Him, and standing upon His word. And although I could not feel His presence during that time, when I look back at those days, I can see so clearly that He was there, carrying me and giving me the strength to persevere.<br />
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I would also like to draw our attention to another very significant aspect of allowing Christ’s strength to empower us during our trials. Paul talks about being glad about his weaknesses and even delighting in them. <br />
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It is imperative that we do not fall into the trap of grumbling against God during such trials, nor fight or fear them. We need to keep in mind that God uses such trials to strengthen our faith and develop our character, and then thank and praise Him in, through, and even for such trials. We need trust in Christ completely, reminding ourselves that He is sovereign and in control of all things. I remember reaching this point during my journey with depression - and how different the journey was from that point – I was able to get back out there and live an increasingly normal life while awaiting full recovery. <br />
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<i>Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. </i>James 1:2-4<br />
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<i>Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. </i>1 Thessalonians 5:16-18Peter Stonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04896115247438514660noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3015299104362685233.post-55543222228445669442015-12-25T13:12:00.000+11:002016-04-25T00:56:46.992+10:00Insomnia – an Exercise in Frustration<div style="float: right; margin-left: 10px;">
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Insomnia, or being unable to sleep at night, is one of the most frustrating things I have had to deal with. <br />
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Overwhelmed by fatigue and so sleepy that I could barely keep my eyes open, I would crawl into bed at a good hour, looking forward to a good night’s sleep. My mind was at peace, content, even empty of thought - yet I would lie there, awake, hour after hour. Sleep simply would not come.<br />
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As this continued, I began to crawl into bed in an anxious state of mind. I knew I desperately needed sleep but was worried it would not come. This tension made sleep even more evasive. My heart raced, my mind developed a habit of glancing about fearfully, which often trigged panic attacks. <br />
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As insomnia became more frequent, I tried to wait patiently for sleep to come. Yet as the hours continued to tick by I became more and more frustrated. My body was telling me that I needed sleep. I was so tired that I could not keep my eyes open, so why was I lying awake hour after hour? I would pray, beg, and plead with the Lord to give me sleep, quoting scriptures at Him, trying to convince Him to stretch out His hand or speak a word over me to put me to sleep. Then, after lying awake for five or six hours, frustration would blossom into rage. I lost count of how many times I shook my fist at the ceiling and said, “Jesus, why do you just sit there! Can’t you see that I need sleep? Why don’t you act? Don’t you care?” <br />
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As well as getting angry with God, I became enraged with my mind and body. What was wrong with them, couldn’t they see what they were doing to me? I was so tired and sleepy yet my useless, stupid mind simply would not shut off! <i>It was as though my body conspired against me, and I hated it,</i> I wrote in my diary. <br />
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Following these sessions of rage against God and myself, came anguish, repentence and guilt. I knew I should not react like this, but I needed sleep! <br />
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Eventually the insomnia became so bad that for five days I would fall asleep when the sun came up, and on the sixth, sleep would not come at all. On those days I felt robbed, cheated, betrayed. When I rose, I felt dirty and unclean. Then the cycle started again. <br />
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Finally, due to a number of factors, I fell into strong depression towards the end of 1989. Panic attacks afflicted me 24 hours a day, my mind never ceased to churn through terrifying fearful thoughts, and insomnia continued to afflict me.<br />
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<b>Attitudes We Cannot Afford to Have Towards Insomnia</b><br />
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As you can see from what I have shared above, the ways I reacted to insomnia made it worse. These negative reactions of fearing or fighting it released negative adrenalin into my system, elevated my anxiety levels and made it harder to sleep. What a vicious cycle – insomnia begets tension and fatigue, which in turn make insomnia worse, which causes further tension and fatigue.<br />
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Here are some reactions we cannot afford to have towards insomnia:<br />
1. going to bed fearful that we may not sleep<br />
2. becoming frustrated when we cannot sleep<br />
3. worrying how this lack of sleep will affect us tomorrow<br />
4. letting the frustration boil over into rage<br />
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<b>Helpful Attitudes Towards Insomnia</b><br />
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Here is a list of what reactions we need to have towards insomnia.<br />
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1. when we go to bed, be prepared to stay awake all night<br />
2. be content to stay awake all night instead of getting frustrated or angry<br />
3. recognize that resting contentedly all night in bed, even without sleeping, is still beneficial<br />
4. if we don’t sleep tonight, there is always tomorrow night.<br />
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<b>Some Things that May Help with Mild Insomnia</b><br />
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In my dealings with insomnia over the decades, I have learned a few tricks that can help alleviate mild insomnia. <br />
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1. a glass of hot milk, or a bowl of hot cereal, taken immediately before bed, can be helpful<br />
2. if still awake two to three hours later, have another glass of hot milk or cereal <br />
3. regular exercise is crucial. This may be going on brisk 30-45 minute walks three times a week, or doing aerobics, swimming, jogging, etc. Working out with light hand-weights several days a week also helps. (Small note - avoid the above types of exercise near bedtime!)<br />
4. eat a good, balanced diet, with lots of fruit. Drink plenty of water<br />
5. if you must have a nap during the day, make it a 15 minute power nap, no longer. Set an alarm.<br />
6. listening to soothing or relaxing music immediately before going to bed can also be helpful. <br />
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Another point I would like to make is that we humans have a tendency to take on too many responsibilities and get involved with too many activities. Sometimes it is good to take a step back, sit at Christ’s feet and wait on Him, and then prayfully examine our life. Are we doing too much? Are there some aspects of our life that are placing us under pressure unnecessarily? Are there some things that we can quit or that can be put off until next year? Frantic, stressful lifestyles can cause insomnia or make it worse. I learned this lesson the hard way. (Twice…)<br />
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<b>Severe Insomnia</b><br />
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If insomnia has become so bad that we cannot sleep night after night, (this is typical for those suffering from depression), seek medical assistance - we must not struggle through it by ourselves. A doctor can help determine insomnia’s causes (there are many different causes) and recommend medical treatment. For someone suffering from strong depression, sleep is a necessary part of the healing process. I am so glad that after three to four months of trying to cope with depression and insomnia on my own, I finally saw a doctor and went onto anti-depressant medication that included a mild tranquilizer. The combination of the medication and being able to sleep again were important factors in dulling depression’s effects, which helped me to concentrate on the task of recovery.<br />
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It was not until seventeen years after insomnia began to plague me that I discovered that I was suffering from complex partial epilepsy. This typically begins to become apparent in one’s late teens, and I believe this was the primary cause of the insomnia. (However, the way I reacted to it during the first few years made it much worse.) <br />
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I no longer take anti-depressant medication, only epilepsy anti-seizure meds. On most nights, I fall asleep easily, but several times a year I still have those sleepless nights. Instead of getting frustrated or angry, this is what I say to myself when it happens, “If I stay awake all night - that’s fine. I’ll make myself comfortable and snuggle up in the blankets. If I fall asleep eventually - great! If not, that’s fine too. Resting all night in bed is still beneficial.” I submit my mind to Christ, dwell in His peace and take refuge in His presence. I have learned to be content, whatever my circumstances, including those sleepless nights.<br />
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Philippians 4:12-13 <i>‘I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’</i><br />
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Colossians 3:15 <i>‘Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.’</i><br />
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Philippians 4:6-7 <i>Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</i> (Special thanks to a reader for reminding where to find this verse!)<br />
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<a href="http://members.optusnet.com.au/~stonefamily/STONEFAMILY/WhenIamWeak.pdf"> Download a pdf booklet of this blog's articles </a><br />
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All verses from the NIV.<br />
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