Sunday, June 29, 2014

Shattered Dreams

It can be very difficult to cope with the destruction of our plans and dreams for the future, especially if we believed those plans had come from God in the first place. Shock, denial, confusion, anger, and even descent into depression are common reactions.

On the other hand, the onset of depression can also destroy our plans for the future, which in turn makes depression worse.

Some Christians blame God for allowing those plans and dreams to be shattered. Others, doubting God’s goodness, accuse Him of destroying those plans deliberately.

I stand amongst those whose plans for the future were destroyed by depression. When I was nineteen, I felt a strong burden for the Asian peoples and spent the next five years preparing to go to Thailand as a pastor and missionary. I went to Bible College, helped plant a local church, and went to Thailand on a missionary orientation course. The plan for 1990 was additional Bible college studies and more church planting experience.

It was at that point in my life that depression overwhelmed me. As the days turned to weeks and then months, with no sign of the unbelievably intense suffering abating, I had no choice but to quit the ministry and abandon my plans for the future.

Yet having been convinced that God had called me to be a missionary in Asia, forsaking that dream left me terribly confused and wracked with guilt. I remember wondering during those dark months how Jesus viewed me, was He displeased and disappointed in me for making that decision? As I pondered this and my horrific condition, I began to get angry with Him, as you can see from this diary entry.

8th February 1990 – ‘Jesus cannot blame me for throwing in all thoughts of the ministry. He would have known that I would give up after going through all this - so He can’t blame me for pulling out. Also, I would have been heading for Thailand, doing Bible college etc right now, if all this stuff had not happened. So if Jesus wanted me to be a missionary, then He would not have or (should not have) let all this happen to me. But the truth is, all this has happened to me, but why? Where has it come from?’

Due to counselling and prayer, I eventually realised that I had made the mistake of placing my faith and trust in obediently following the path that I believed God had set for me. In fact, I became terrified of making a wrong step in the erroneous belief that this would destroy His plans for my life.

Such faulty thought processes had placed me in a fearful bondage. We are not to place our faith in the path we believe God has called us to follow - we are to place our faith and trust in God Himself. As to fearing I could destroy God’s plans for my life, God tells us to follow His precepts as presented in His word, and that He will never leave or forsake us. "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20.

Let us have a look at Proverbs 3:5. ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’

I learnt that we must not place our hope in our understanding of how our future will turn out. For if we do, when things do not turn out as we expect them to, this may shake our life’s foundations. We are to build our lives upon Christ, the Cornerstone, the sure foundation – we must not build our lives upon our own understandings of what the future will be.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

There is a saying in the military. “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” There is a great lesson to learn here – not only do plans encounter resistance, but calculated or random events alter their course too. We must expect this and be flexible. When things do not turn out as we were expecting, trust in God instead of fearing, doubting, or blaming Him. God is in control, and uses all things for good for those who love Him.

Romans 8:28 says, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’

Now it turns out that God did indeed give me a burden for the Asian peoples. But His plan for my life was not to be a missionary in Thailand planting churches. Instead, He led me to marry a Japanese girl and serve Him in a Japanese Christian church in my city. I had made plans, but God determined my steps. Letting go of the fears that depression had destroyed God’s plan for my life, I acknowledged Him with each step I took and He led me down a straight path.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6

(On a side note, for those situations where sin, backsliding, waywardness or rebellion against God appears to have destroyed our future, there is still cause for hope. We need to return to God, confess our sins to Him, and turn our back upon those sins. God will forgive us and restore our relationship with Him. Although consequences of our prior actions may send our life in an undesired or unexpected direction, God is still with us. Please read about the prodigal son returning to God in Luke 15:11-32.)

We must place our faith, hope and trust in God our Father and in Christ our Lord, for ‘He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.’ Psalm 23:3 And then whatever path He leads us down, what ever storm He leads us through, even if our dreams for the future are shattered in the process, we will respond by clinging to, relying on, and trusting in Him, instead of responding with shock, confusion and anger.

John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled, trust in God, trust also in Me.”

Jesus set me free from the prison of thinking that one wrong step would ruin His plans for my life. He taught me that He would always be with me, wherever I went.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

All verses from NIV.


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    22 comments:

    1. Peter, this is for me tonight. I have to come back and read this again. Thank you.
      Blessings, Sita

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    2. Amen brother. You have gone through so much, and at the same time with God help, conquerd so very much also! Blessings dear one and thank you for sharing!!!

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    3. You are so right, we can not trust ourselves for our future. Only GOD knows what our future holds. He will use us and all the circumstances in our lives for HIS greater plan if we will allow HIM.
      GOD is using you and will continue to use you, dear friend.

      Blessings and prayers, andrea

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    4. Peter, this is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

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    5. Such wise words--for those going through depression as well as "the rest of us." Plans are so easy to make ourselves. Thanks for the reminder, Peter.

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    6. Beautiful. What an encouraging word of hope, Peter.

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    7. Amen Peter! What a blessing of a read! Amen!

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    8. Lots to ponder every time...Thanks for all the steps we can take to claim the victory we already have in His wonderful Name. To God be the glory! God bless.

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    9. So glad the post was in God's timing, Sita and Seema. I've been working on this post on-and-off for a few weeks.

      Thanks JBR and Andrea. It is such a relief to know that we have Someone to sustain us and shepherd us through such times by His strength.

      Thanks for your encouragement as always, Joanna, Laura, Pat and Rcubes.

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    10. 2 Chronicles 7:13-16 comes to mind when I read your "side note". God is so faithful when we recognize His sovereignty, and learn to trust in Him.

      13 "When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, 14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. 16 I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.

      I am so glad that I found your blog. It is has been a blessing to me! I pray God continues to use it to bless so many!

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    11. Hi Melinda,
      Thanks for sharing 2 Chronicles 7:13-16. Such a wonderful passage, it both challenges us to get our lives right before God, and then shows the grace and blessings He pours out upon us when we do.

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    12. Isn't it so great to have such great mercies, grace and tender loving kindness from our heavenly Father who gives us a firm foundation for our footing?

      ~Silver

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    13. Thanks for dropping by Silver, and amen, it certainly is great. :)

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    14. Peter, as always, appreciate your comments. Blessings dear one!

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    15. Peter,

      Thank you for your heartfelt words on my blog yesterday! Your words touched this heart of mine and give it a lift. I love this post of yours, as it continued to reach down and inspire me!

      Thank you so much!

      Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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    16. Hi Kat,

      Thanks for dropping by, and you are most welcome. Glad this post could be of some encouragement.

      God bless you heaps :)

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    17. Peter, I found your blog today while searching for some scriptural advice on just this topic. I quit believing in coincidences years ago. I know God is a God of detail so I do believe when we seek Him with our heart, we do find Him. I found Him here in the scripture you shared. I was reminded, once again, of the peace that He wants me to have. It's been very hard watching those who I've allowed to rob my joy, kill my dreams, etc. move on as if nothing happened and they "seem" happy. While I sit here, having forgiven, trying to accept and live my life to the fullest. I have so many other blessings in my life that this won't keep me down, it's just the chapter of my life right now. Thanks again for your words of encouragement and hope.

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      1. Dear Lhug143,
        You're welcome, and I am glad that the Lord has been able to use my testimony and writings to draw you closer to Him. Thank you also for taking the time to leave this comment.
        God bless
        Peter

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    18. God led me to your writing moments ago and for that I am most grateful...I cannot share how much so - as I digest the miracle that just happened. Thank you for adhering to His calling!

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      1. Dear Angela
        Praise the Lord :)
        Thank you for letting me know.
        God bless
        Peter

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    19. Thank you Peter so much!

      You gave me much to be reminded of and to think about again. I have a shattered dream. It was to be an animator. In 2012 I registered for college but I failed my placement test. The college recommended me to take tutoring. My score was so low that I couldn't enter a college level English course. I had to take tutoring sessions at my library. I was there for about a year. Then in 2013 I went back to the college and was able to pass my placement test. YAY! I went to orientation and was ready for school in the fall......until I allowed my anxiety to overcome me and I dropped out of college after my first week. Now I owe $998.55. I done all of that for nothing.

      I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I told myself that I should had been a CNA. But I sometimes remind myself that maybe God has other plans for me. Well months later I started reading more of the Bible and praying more. My so called dream to be an animator has been replace with another new dream. Well more like a desire. To serve God and to have a seat...my name in the Book of Life. I've been having my eye on this Bible college I came across online. I don't how I'll be able to go there...unless my Mom win the Lottery. Seriously. I am starting to have doubt that I will go there but I still have a little hope.......

      Your post has remined me of my situation. Maybe God is telling me something.
      THANK YOU SO MUCH!
      May you be blessed
      And Than you God for bringing me here

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      1. Dear Inner self, thanks for sharing how the Lord has been encouraging you through the blog post. Always acknowledge the Lord, and He will direct your paths. Also, you are still quite young, so your whole future is ahead of you. Only God knows the things that He has in store for you. I got myself a part time job when I went to Bible college. That way I had time to study and I got enough money to pay the fees and other day to day expenses.

        God bless
        Peter

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