Dealing with Panic Attacks

What is a Panic Attack?

A panic attack (also known as an anxiety attack) is a relatively brief episode of intense fear that comes on suddenly, where the person is both terrified of the physical symptoms that are afflicting them as well as by the associated fears that either triggered or accompanied the attack.

A panic attack typically lasts for at least ten minutes but can stretch on for much longer, even hours or days if cyclic in nature. Cyclic panic attacks are where a person is subject to a continuous cycle of attack after attack, with a new attack triggering even as the previous one is fading away.

The fears associated with a panic attack are strongest when the attack begins. These fears demand our attention, yet the more attention we give them – the more we fear them - the greater they become. Fighting, arguing with, fearing or trying to flee the panic attack and its disturbing symptoms causes negative adrenalin to flood our being. This in turn causes even greater anxiety and even more disturbing sensations to afflict us during the attack.

In my case, a typical panic attack included an increased heart rate, flushed face, increased temperature, shortness of breath, chest feeling constricted, a complete lack of peace, and an intense churning/discomfort in the stomach. These physical symptoms were accompanied by a terrifying fear that was so vivid and threatening that I would often ‘scream’ in my mind. Many sufferers wail or scream quite loudly during an attack.


What triggers panic attacks?

A panic attack can be triggered by an extremely stressful or fearful situation, or even by an exceptionally terrifying fearful thought. Subsequent exposure to the same situation or fearful thought may trigger further attacks. Being afraid that another attack may come increases the likelihood of them striking again.

The stress of trying to making an important life decision can also trigger a panic attack. (See below for how this can affect Christians in particular.)

Panic attacks can even trigger without a cause, however, in these cases, the mind typically searches for a reason for the attack, and may latch onto a fear which then becomes the associated fear for that attack. It is typical for the mind to latch onto a fear that has terrified the person in the past.

A mind prone to anxiety is the perfect seedbed in which a panic attack can take root and flourish. Some people by nature have a sensitive nervous system, which can be due to past or recent traumas or even due to genetic inheritance. However, those suffering from depression are especially susceptible to panic attacks as their minds are locked in a state of constant anxiety.

1 Peter 5:8 is a perfect description of how panic attacks operate. 'Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.’  Although Satan has been defeated by Christ’s victory on the cross, he masquerades as a roaring lion and tricks people into believing that panic attacks have real power and can devour them, when in fact they have no power at all.


Dealing with Panic Attacks

In late July, 1990, I read ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ by Dr Claire Weekes, which taught me all about the ‘fear-adrenalin-fear cycle,’ (1) and how the more we fear, flee or fight panic attacks, the worse we become as the additional adrenalin produced prolongs symptoms and produces more disturbing physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sensations. It is a very vicious cycle.

To recover from panic attacks we need to break this cycle.The AWARE Technique is one effective method used by many to break the cycle:

Breaking the Panic Attack Cycle using the AWARE Technique:

A- Accept the panic attack. Do not fear it or fight it. Fearing or fighting it just makes it worse. Just let it be there for now, like background music. Do not be afraid that you may have more panic attacks in the future. Let them come.

W- Watch the panic attack, by rating it right now on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worse it has ever been in the past, and 1 meaning it has gone. Remember all anxiety attacks follow a pattern in that they increase to a peak and then decrease and stop. So do not be alarmed at its intensity during its worse phase. It will pass.

A- Act normal Carry on as normal. If you are currently engaged in an activity, concentrate on that activity. Otherwise, find something constructive to do, such as going for a walk, weeding the garden, washing the car. If you stop being active and focus on the panic attack and the fearful topic associated with it, it will suck you in and it will get temporarily worse. However, if you carry on as normal, choosing to focus on something else, the panic attack will start to fade.

R- Repeat Let time pass and keeping repeating the above three steps until the panic attack has faded away.

E- Expect Expect the best and remember that this panic attack will end soon just like all the previous ones did. Furthermore, expect each future attack to reduce in severity and duration, the more times you react to them with the AWARE technique. Eventually, you will no longer fear them and will be able to nip them in the bud before they start.

To help with future attacks, write this on a card or print it out and keep it in your wallet/purse:

A- Accept the panic attack. Do not fear it or fight it.

W- Watch the panic attack, by rating it right now on a scale of 1 to 10.

A- Act normal Carry on as normal. Do not stop being active and therefore focus on the panic attack.

R- Repeat Keeping repeating the above three steps until the panic attack has faded away.

E- Expect Expect the best and remember that this panic attack will end.

I used to say this little summary to myself when hit by a new panic attack:

Peter, you're having a panic attack,
Just accept it, (don't fear it or fight it,)
Learn to live with it,
And let time pass.

(These steps are a practical application of Bible verses Philippians 4:12-13, John 14:1, James 1:2-3. If you would like to read further Bible verses to deal with panic attacks, ie, that illustrate the above technique, please read this post, Breaking Depression's Fear Cycle.)


After I read ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ whenever a panic attack hit me, I said to myself: “Peter, you're having a panic attack. Don't fight it or fear it, just accept it, and learn to live with it, don't debate it and argue with it, and let time pass, and it will fade.”

To my amazement, the above technique worked, as it broke the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle. First the intensity of the attacks reduced, then their frequency grew less, and finally I found that in most cases, I was able to nip the attack in the bud before it could take off.

Another thing that can help when afflicted by an annoying re-occurring panic attack is to share the panic attack topic or fear with a wise Christian friend, so that we can get a fresh, healthier perspective on the issue. Although a fearful thought may seem larger than life to us, our friend will see right through it. In this case, trust their perspective, not our own fearful one. (A word of caution, it is not wise to continually run these fears past our friends, as this will not only drive them crazy, but in time we need to learn how to find a fresh perspective ourselves from prayer and Bible study.)

Another small note: if you suffer from panic attacks and you simply cannot put into practice the steps I have outlined above, I recommend seeing a doctor. If the doctor recommends anti-depressants and professional counselling, consider the advice carefully. Anti-depressants dull the effects of depression and panic attacks and this is a huge help in overcoming them. (See my entry, Depression, Christians, and Anti-Depressant Medication.)

2 Timothy 1:7 ‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.’ (Amplified Bible)


Panic Attacks and Christians

Unfortunately, for some Christians, a panic attack caused by the fear of making the wrong life choice has another insidious dimension to it. Since they cannot control it or make it stop, and because it is accompanied by a distinct lack of peace, they erroneously misinterpret the panic attack as God guiding them. A common expression not found in the Bible is, “Let the peace of God guide you.” It embarrasses me to admit that for many years I thought panic attacks were God guiding me.

Mistaking panic attacks as being God’s guidance actually makes the panic attacks worse, as such Christians in their eagerness to obey God are (unnecessarily) terrified of disobeying Him. A verse which used to torment me when I resisted and fought against a panic attack was 1 Samuel 15:22 “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD. To obey is better than sacrifice.” As I drew closer to depression as 1989 wore on, I had an attack and lost my peace every time I was faced with a major decision. Every time I tried to take a step forward, an attack (which I misinterpreted as God’s guidance) would send me reeling two steps backwards. In the end, I was too scared to make decisions any more. 18/2/1990 – I’m scared to commit to anything, such as joining a new church, getting a girlfriend, buying a computer, etc, in case He says no. It’s got to the point that I won’t do anything in case God says 'no.'

Can you imagine the relief I felt when I discovered that panic attacks were not God’s guidance, and that ignoring them was not disobeying Him?

The most bewildering aspect of mistaking panic attacks as God guiding us is trying to work out exactly what God is trying to say (since He is not actually saying anything). When severely depressed I was frequently afflicted by cyclic panic attacks over a period of months. These were associated with a large range of fears, most telling me that I was supposed to be doing this or that. Here is a diary entry showing the exasperation I felt at that time.

15/3/1990 – I feel like saying, “What sort of God are You to do this to someone, and why don’t You speak clearly? All You have to do is speak to me or give me a vision, etc, and I’ll obey, but what is this ‘Guess what I’m saying with the hit and miss affair [when I take away your peace to guide you.]’ ”

Before I became depressed, one thing that reinforced my belief that losing my peace due to a panic attack was God’s voice, was that every time I gave into the panic attack fear, the attack ended and my peace returned immediately. For example, once I was about to leave my job, enter part time ministry and look for a part time job. The massive panic attack which followed ceased as soon as I decided to turn down the offer for part time ministry and remain at my job.

However, when I became clinically depressed, giving into a panic attack and doing what it appeared to be 'saying' no longer stopped the attack. The attack just kept coming back, normally by switching immediately to another fearful thought, or topic. This was because while suffering from depression, we are in a state of constant anxiety. This was when I got my first real clue that the attacks and the lack of peace were not God’s attempt to guide me, but something else. Being convinced of this was another matter entirely.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Finally in April 1990 I saw a Christian counsellor. She told me that I was suffering from depression, and assured me that the panic attacks and lack of peace were NOT God attempting to guide me. She said that I had been placing my trust in following a lack of peace as guidance – “It’s always worked before” – instead of in Him. Through her counselling, prayer and Bible study, the Lord taught me the following truths, which set me free from the erroneous belief that panic attacks were God guiding me.

Isaiah 9:6 ‘For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.’ Jesus is the Prince of Peace, not the Prince of a lack of peace.

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” It does not say “My lack of peace I give to guide you.”

John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”

So if the Bible does not say, “Let the peace of God guide you,” what then does it say should guide us?

Psalm 119:105 ‘Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.’

Proverbs 3:6 ‘in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.’

James 1:5 ‘If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.’

In conclusion, we need to make our life decisions prayerfully, with wisdom based on God’s Word, and we need to do so while dwelling in His peace with an untroubled heart.

A small footnote here. Our heart can of course be troubled without suffering a panic attack – our heart can be troubled by a great number of things. For example we may have agreed to take on one too many jobs, causing such stress that we cannot relax or sleep properly. To reduce our workload here would be the wise choice. This is a case of noting the warning signs of our mind and body and taking appropriate action.

If we are feeling pressured, rushed, or stressed out by any circumstances, we need to step back, meditate upon God's Word, pray and seek His guidance. In such times, we need to wait upon Jesus to receive His rest for our soul. Matthew 11:28. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Now although I was relieved to know that the panic attacks were not God guiding me, the attacks continued relentlessly and with almost as much power. My nervous system was still exhausted, and I was still reacting to the attacks in the wrong way - by fighting and fearing them. Freedom from the panic attacks came when I read “Self Help for Your Nerves,” as I mentioned above.


(1) ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p10.

Is God Good?

Many Christians suffering from severe depression have found themselves beginning to question if God is actually good. We may wonder how a loving, gracious God could allow such unrivalled suffering, and not end it instantly by His power.

During the blackest phase of depression, I kept reminding myself that God was faithful, but as the days dragged into weeks and months with no improvement in sight, I despaired and wrote diary entries like this:

27th March 1990 – How will I ever trust You again? I’ll have great confidence that every time I go through a major crisis, You’ll do nothing, You’ll say nothing, You’ll do nothing…I know You are Faithful and True, I know You can do anything You want. I know it’s Your will to heal all who are sick or under Satan’s power. I know You love us and want to help us…and I know that You will help me out of this nightmare one day…But why oh why do You tarry so long…what DO YOU WANT FROM ME!”

One problem is our modern mindset - we have forgotten what it means to wait. We have become impatient, expecting instant service, instant dinners, fast food restaurants, fast internet connection, motorised transport, and so on. We apply this same thinking to our sufferings, forgetting that God works according to His timetable, not ours. When we do not get want we want from God as quickly as we desire it, typical reactions may be to question, doubt, grumble or complain.

Some who are suffering from depression accuse God of treating humanity like a science experiment. They compare us to ants, struggling to overcome obstacles and sufferings placed deliberately in our way by an impersonal, uncaring God as He conducts experiments upon us.

When I was younger, I used to study ants for hours. Once I bought an ant farm and placed a pregnant ant queen in it. Within two years, I had a thriving ant colony on my hands. I fed them, gave them water, and cared for them as treasured pets.

One day a savage summer heat-wave caused every ant in the little colony to die of dehydration. Their passing saddened me, but as they were just ants, I put the matter behind me and got on with my life.

Now is that what God did with us? When Adam and Eve rebelled against God in the Garden of Eden, resulting in the death of their spirits, did He put the matter behind Him and say, “Oh, that’s too bad, but they’re only something I created. I’ll forget about them and do something else now.”

No, that was not God’s reaction at all. In fact, the Bible tells us that God loves us so much, that even before He created the Earth, Jesus had already been chosen to save us from the curse of sin and death.

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. 1 Peter 1:18-21

Although I had cared for my ants and did not want them to suffer and die, I would never have considered becoming one of them, taking their sufferings upon myself, and dying in their place so that they could live.

Yet that is what God did for us. God Himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, upon seeing our plight (which we brought upon ourselves through deliberate disobedience) left heaven, become human, suffered and died in our place so that we could be restored to Him. How much more proof do we need that God is good and truly loves us! Here are some Bible verses where God demonstrates His love for us through the atoning death of Jesus.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:6-8

I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 1 Thessalonians 5:10

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

That God is not good, faithful and trustworthy is an age-old attack that Satan has been throwing at humans since the dawn of creation. This is the very attack-strategy he used against Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "
"You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Genesis 3:1-5

Satan tried to convince Eve that God was holding back on her, that He could not be trusted. Eve decided to listen to Satan, the great deceiver, instead of holding to God’s Word and trusting that He was telling the truth.
“The doubt concerning God’s goodness, as Oswald Chambers so trenchantly put it, is the real root of sin. Embedded like splintered glass at the core of our souls is the suspicion that God does not have our best interests at heart. Unless that issue is exposed and dealt with, our hearts will never be truly pure.” Every Day with Jesus, Jul/Aug 2000, Fri 4 Aug, by Selwyn Hughes, CWR.

Let us be mindful that Satan deliberately attacks Christians when they are down – he targets those suffering with depression and whispers lies into their minds, trying to convince them that God is not good, that He is not faithful and trustworthy.

All of these lies were thrown at me while depressed, but this is the conclusion I reached:

20th July 90 –
I hate being so irritable and frustrated, so disturbed,
All day, every day.
And it never ends.
Oh Lord, where are You?
I feel like getting so angry with You.
I guess it all boils down to this:
Are You trustworthy or not?
I know the answer is yes.

In time, I did make a complete recovery from depression, and the Lord blessed me with a fulfilling and fruitful life. During my recovery from depression, He drew me closer to Him, showed me how to rely upon His strength, and set me free from bondages and fears that had ensnared me for decades.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

Now I am the first to acknowledge that circumstances do not always turn out as we expect, but we need to keep things in perspective. We Christians are travelers passing through this world on our way to heaven. The sufferings we endure here pale into insignificance compared to the glories and blessings that await us in heaven. Most of all, they pale into grey when compared to the riches of having an eternal relationship with our loving God and Creator.

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
Psalm 73:24-25

All verses from the NIV.

Shattered Dreams

It can be very difficult to cope with the destruction of our plans and dreams for the future, especially if we believed those plans had come from God in the first place. Shock, denial, confusion, anger, and even descent into depression are common reactions.

On the other hand, the onset of depression can also destroy our plans for the future, which in turn makes depression worse.

Some Christians blame God for allowing those plans and dreams to be shattered. Others, doubting God’s goodness, accuse Him of destroying those plans deliberately.

I stand amongst those whose plans for the future were destroyed by depression. When I was nineteen, I felt a strong burden for the Asian peoples and spent the next five years preparing to go to Thailand as a pastor and missionary. I went to Bible College, helped plant a local church, and went to Thailand on a missionary orientation course. The plan for 1990 was additional Bible college studies and more church planting experience.

It was at that point in my life that depression overwhelmed me. As the days turned to weeks and then months, with no sign of the unbelievably intense suffering abating, I had no choice but to quit the ministry and abandon my plans for the future.

Yet having been convinced that God had called me to be a missionary in Asia, forsaking that dream left me terribly confused and wracked with guilt. I remember wondering during those dark months how Jesus viewed me, was He displeased and disappointed in me for making that decision? As I pondered this and my horrific condition, I began to get angry with Him, as you can see from this diary entry.

8th February 1990 – ‘Jesus cannot blame me for throwing in all thoughts of the ministry. He would have known that I would give up after going through all this - so He can’t blame me for pulling out. Also, I would have been heading for Thailand, doing Bible college etc right now, if all this stuff had not happened. So if Jesus wanted me to be a missionary, then He would not have or (should not have) let all this happen to me. But the truth is, all this has happened to me, but why? Where has it come from?’

Due to counselling and prayer, I eventually realised that I had made the mistake of placing my faith and trust in obediently following the path that I believed God had set for me. In fact, I became terrified of making a wrong step in the erroneous belief that this would destroy His plans for my life.

Such faulty thought processes had placed me in a fearful bondage. We are not to place our faith in the path we believe God has called us to follow - we are to place our faith and trust in God Himself. As to fearing I could destroy God’s plans for my life, God tells us to follow His precepts as presented in His word, and that He will never leave or forsake us. "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20.

Let us have a look at Proverbs 3:5. ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’

I learnt that we must not place our hope in our understanding of how our future will turn out. For if we do, when things do not turn out as we expect them to, this may shake our life’s foundations. We are to build our lives upon Christ, the Cornerstone, the sure foundation – we must not build our lives upon our own understandings of what the future will be.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

There is a saying in the military. “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” There is a great lesson to learn here – not only do plans encounter resistance, but calculated or random events alter their course too. We must expect this and be flexible. When things do not turn out as we were expecting, trust in God instead of fearing, doubting, or blaming Him. God is in control, and uses all things for good for those who love Him.

Romans 8:28 says, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’

Now it turns out that God did indeed give me a burden for the Asian peoples. But His plan for my life was not to be a missionary in Thailand planting churches. Instead, He led me to marry a Japanese girl and serve Him in a Japanese Christian church in my city. I had made plans, but God determined my steps. Letting go of the fears that depression had destroyed God’s plan for my life, I acknowledged Him with each step I took and He led me down a straight path.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6

(On a side note, for those situations where sin, backsliding, waywardness or rebellion against God appears to have destroyed our future, there is still cause for hope. We need to return to God, confess our sins to Him, and turn our back upon those sins. God will forgive us and restore our relationship with Him. Although consequences of our prior actions may send our life in an undesired or unexpected direction, God is still with us. Please read about the prodigal son returning to God in Luke 15:11-32.)

We must place our faith, hope and trust in God our Father and in Christ our Lord, for ‘He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.’ Psalm 23:3 And then whatever path He leads us down, what ever storm He leads us through, even if our dreams for the future are shattered in the process, we will respond by clinging to, relying on, and trusting in Him, instead of responding with shock, confusion and anger.

John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled, trust in God, trust also in Me.”

Jesus set me free from the prison of thinking that one wrong step would ruin His plans for my life. He taught me that He would always be with me, wherever I went.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

All verses from NIV.

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Depression - It is Not Good for Man to be Alone

My descent into depression accelerated towards the end of 1989. Exhausted by chronic insomnia and frequent panic attacks, a massive shock finally pushed me over the edge. My mind unraveled to the extent that for the next several days, I did little else but lay on my bed, rocking from side to side as I tried in vain to pull myself out of the terrifying panic attacks that had taken over my mind.

I described that week, and an earlier similar one, in my diary, 28th Feb 1990 –
What’s happened to me?
Where has it come from?
What did those two weeks mean,
One after Thailand, one at the year’s end.
I fell apart emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I could barely think a complete thought.
I could not find peace whatever course of action I considered.
All day long, during those two weeks, I lay curled up into a ball.
And I could not get away - it would not stop.

It is significant to note that my parents were absent during this week, having gone to attend an annual Christian convention. Fortunately, my brother was there, as he made sure I kept eating and tried to help and support me.

My parents returned a week later. When my mother found me laying on my bed in that terrible condition, she sprang into action. She bundled me off the bed, encouraged me with kind words, and in no time sent me outside to wash my car, which was very hard to do considering the state of my mind. Yet even so, I could not help but notice that the activity of washing the car lessened the inner pain slightly. She and my brother also prayed over me, and my mother continued to give me menial tasks to do every day such as watering the garden, serving dinner, and also encouraged me to watch TV with the family every evening. Although the fears assaulting my mind continued to scream at me while doing these things, I noticed that their intensity was less during these times than when I was inactive. The activities my mother gave me were a good distraction.

So it was because of my mother that I was able to get off that sickbed. Most of the time she was simply there for me, never telling me to “snap out of it.” This non-demanding, supportive human contact helped to pull me out of that blackest, unable-to-move phase of depression.

The Bible tells us that when God created Adam, He looked at him and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18.

Although it is a normal reaction when depressed to want to hide from any human contact, this reaction is harmful. It is not good for someone who is depressed to be alone. We need to be with close family members or close friends who will simply be there for us, providing emotional support. We do not need to tell them what we are going through in detail - they probably would not understand.

Not everyone has close family members they can turn to, and for those who are ill, disabled or living in the country, even finding friends can be difficult. In which case, here is some wonderful advice from Sherry Castelluccio. “Are you lonely? Call that friend you haven’t spoken to in months. You will both be glad you did.” Another option is to join a supportive Christian forum, such as The Cypress Times , a Christian social networking site, or the Faithwriters forum , where any Christian who dabbles in writing is welcome to socialize.

Another very important source of human contact is available through a local church. Gary R. Collins, Ph.D. shares, “The church, and other social institutions, can become therapeutic communities where people feel welcome and accepted. A concerned group of people who have learned to be caring can do much to soften the trauma of crises and provide strength and help in times of need. Aware that they are not alone, people in crises are able to cope better and thus avoid severe depression.” Christian Counseling, Word Publishing, 1980.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25

Please note that while small churches can provide caring, family-like atmospheres, this is noticeably absent from larger churches. If attending a larger church, it is imperative to join at least one of that church’s small groups, such as a women’s or men’s fellowship, home group (cell group), youth group, prayer group, and so on.

Around ten months after my descent into severe depression, when I had finally regained hope for the future, the Christian counselor I was seeing encouraged me to stop hiding behind Jesus, join a home group, and get back into ministry, such as playing the piano in the home group I was to join.

I took her advice and joined a midweek home group run by a couple in my church. Having been lonely for so long because of depression, this midweek meeting soon became one of the highlights of my week. I played the piano for the group and made some good friends. It was wonderful to simply be with other believers and enjoy their company as we fellowshipped and worshipped God together. I did not tell anyone in the group that I was recovering from depression, but it may have been a good idea to share briefly what I was going through with the home group’s leader in order to receive prayer and pastoral care.

In conclusion, although depression seeks to isolate us, we must not allow it to do so. We need to spend time with close family or friends, and join a caring Christian small group as soon as we are able to do so. It is through the church, Christ’s body, that we can receive encouragement, support and strength.

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. 1 Corinthians 14:26
(All verses from the NIV)

Download a free pdf ebook on depression.

Signposts

I had been suffering from severe depression for just over three months when I wrote this. Although feelings of despair dominate the diary entry, threads of hope are also woven through it.

25th March 1990 -
Will I Ever See Daylight Again?
I feel like a bird trapped in a small birdcage,
A birdcage hidden at the bottom of a dark basement.
And all I want to do is break out of the blackness,
And fly into the Sonlight which waits outside.
I can feel it, the Light –
It’s all around the basement.
The Light is greater than the basement.
All I want to do is get into that Light,
And loose myself in it.
But it is an impossible task – I can’t get out.
And the thick, murky black air closes in…

I feel like I’m in a room with invisible walls.
But it’s so black in the room,
That I can’t see through the walls.
And I am the centre of the room.
Where I go, the room goes – I can’t get out.
I wish someone would chain the room still,
So I could get out into the Light outside.

There must be Light outside! I can remember it!
And other people I see everyday walk in it.
But how do I get out?
How do I get to the Light?

Oh Jesus, You are the Light of the world.
Please shatter this darkened prison I live in,
And take me into Your light.
Let it consume me, encompass me, surround me.
Let me become one with You, You in me, me in You.

Will this nightmare ever end?
Those who have been here before me,
Have left sign posts along the way,
Showing the way out.
But they all say the same thing:
“Wait, you’ll come through it,
it doesn’t feel like it now,
but you will come through it.
Life will be normal again one day.”

In time Jesus did shatter the dark prison walls that had trapped me for so long. As I trudged along that forlorn track He lead me to signpost after signpost, each nudging me in the right direction, towards being able to cope with depression and finally overcome it.

And now, twenty years after I wrote the above, I am one of those ‘others’ who, having recovered from depression, is leaving signposts along the way for others to follow – and that is the whole purpose of this blog.

And here are some of those signposts…

Although our life may appear to be a complete mess and out of control, this is not the truth.


We need to break depression’s fear, flight, fight cycle in order to reduce the flow of negative adrenalin. It is ironic that in order to do this, we need to accept the very sensations that are disturbing us, since the act of fearing, fleeing or fighting depression and its symptoms/causes is what causes the adrenalin to flow. (1)


Instead of desperately wanting to escape depression and its disturbing symptoms, we need to be willing to live with them by being content whatever our circumstances.


When we accept and learn to live with depression and its symptoms, and let time pass, the flow of adrenalin begins to diminish, and as it diminishes, the symptoms lose their intensity, shorten in duration, and slowly begin to disappear.


And the good news is that we do not need to do this alone or through our own strength.



All verses from NIV.

(1) Signposts 2, 3, and 4 inspired by ‘Self Help for Your Nerves,’ Doctor Claire Weekes, Angus & Robertston Publishers, 1989, p19.