Monday, August 11, 2014

Keeping Track of Depression's Progress

One difficult aspect of depression is trying to ascertain whether we are getting worse or improving. In order to keep track of my second episode of major depressive disorder, I initially kept only a written record in my diary. Through this I was able to ascertain that I was getting progressively worse, but apart from reading dozens of diary entries written over many weeks and months, I could not see my progress at a glance.

When I finally went onto anti-depressant medication in 2011, (which took three tries until my doctor and I could find the right medication for me), I wanted to be able to see at a glance whether the meds were working or not, and whether I was actually improving. And as depression is characterised by cycles of 'good' days and 'bad' days of varying length and intensity, when I cast my mind back over the weeks, I could not tell if I was improving or getting worse.

So as well as keeping a written diary of depression's details, I also began recording depression's 'good' days and 'bad' days on a one-year calendar. I recorded the 'bad' days (or parts thereof) in green and 'good' days in yellow. I also wrote down on which day I began each medication, and when the dosages were increased.

And the result was very encouraging. Even though I often feared (during the periods of emotionally/mentally painful and oppressively dark 'bad' days) that I was not improving - a simple glance at the calendar revealed that my fears were wrong - the proof was right there before my eyes - the number of yellow days were increasing. I was recovering from depression at last.

Below is the record I kept for 2011 and 2012. It was in mid-Feb 2011 that I mentally and emotionally collapsed, which was the lowest point of this bout of depression. At the moment I am experiencing about three weeks of 'good' days for each week of 'bad' days. And the 'bad' days are much weaker than they were previously.

Here is a link for a printable one-year calendar for 2013. Printable 2013 Calendar


6 comments:

  1. Hi, Peter! So glad to see you are having more good days than bad. When I was at my lowest low, a friend and fellow depression sufferer shared with me a thought that really has been an encouragement. As simple as these words are, they REALLY made a difference. "You won't always feel like this," she said. "Things will get better." It's a truth you can really cling to.

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    1. Hi Wayne,
      Thanks for dropping by, and for sharing those very encouraging words. Throughout my blackest moments and bad days, I have continually said what amounts to the same thing. I say to myself, "This will pass..." And it always does.
      God bless
      Peter

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    2. To Peter and all contributors
      May the Lord richly bless all -please keep up this most special work.
      Rod

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    3. Thanks Rod for your encouraging words, I really appreciate them.
      God bless
      Peter

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  2. Hi Peter!
    How are you doing at the moment? Hopefully your calendar is filled with lots of yellow these days. Thank you for this idea, I think I am going to try it out. Also, thank you so much for your blog! God is really using you and your darkest moments as an encouragement for all of us who are going through depression and anxiety. I hope to be able to encourage other people too after I've recovered, God willing. Bless you!

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    1. Hi Ester,

      Thank you for dropping by and for your comment. My calendar is about half green and half yellow, at the moment. Still room for improvement, but I'm sure I will get there.

      Praying that the Lord Jesus will lead you to wholeness soon.

      God bless
      Peter

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