Sherry Castelluccio explains how a pyschiatrist can be of great assistance. ‘Professional help is important. By talking to someone impartial, we have the freedom to discuss what’s really at the root of our anger without fear of judgment or ridicule. It’s incredibly healing just to be able to talk. Some of those deep issues can’t be resolved with a spouse or a loved one because they are either connected somehow or not able to relate. A psychiatrist is able to listen and give advice based on their knowledge of the brain and how it functions. Not only this, it just feels good to talk to someone that can’t or won’t fight back with you.’
A word of caution: if seeing a counsellor, choose them with prayer and wisdom. I recommend seeing a counsellor who has been through depression and overcome it. They understand what we are going through and can help point us in the right direction. I say this because there are Christian counsellors who mean well but lack knowledge and experience, and sometimes resort to shock tactics in a misguided attempt to encourage us to “get our life together.” Such shock tactics make us worse by placing us under more pressure and fear. Do not submit to such a counsellor – seek another.
Counselling needs to be continued for several months, if not years, on a regular basis. Some ministers think a one-off counselling/prayer session is sufficient. Ten weeks into depression, I finally sought counselling and visited a local minister. Although I truly appreciate the time he gave to me, he saw me just the once and sent me on my way. Though he gave good advice, this brief visit provided only minimal comfort and did not effectively address the traumas that haunted me. This is what I wrote in my diary that day. 13th March 1990 – Well, the day finally came where I saw Ps X. It’s funny, I was hoping for some huge touch from God, such as healing, or deliverance from oppression or possession, but no received such easy answer. As you can see, I was still hoping for an unattainable ‘instant’ solution to depression.
Two weeks later I went to see another counsellor, Pat, a very compassionate and gentle lady who had gone through depression while spending months incapacitated by near-terminal illness.
Note that it is normal to feel reluctance in seeking help from a counsellor. But as we need the help, we must put aside such feelings and press on. On 19th March 1990 I wrote – I’m a complete emotional and spiritual mess and I need help, dear Jesus, so I’ll be seeing Pat in ten days, but I feel really guilty for taking up her time. I don’t want to impose on her.
Pat counselled me once a month for several months. She sympathised with what I was going through, offered practical advice, and through prayer and God’s Word helped me to face and deal with several deep emotional wounds.
The diary excerpts below (italicised) show some things I learnt through those counselling sessions.
Pat said that depression is the worse ailment that we can have, because it affects all areas of our lives: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. We make the mistake of thinking that because our spiritual life is effected, the cause must be spiritual. But this is incorrect. Depression touches every part of us, which means it touches us spiritually too.
Pat listed the symptoms of depression, which described my condition perfectly. These included having no hope, being unable to see the future, you cannot ever see yourself getting beyond this current stage, you look at everyone else and wish you were any one of them instead of yourself.
She said that I should be on anti-depressants to help me, and that they will start to work after about ten days.
Pat told me that during her illness and depression, she had got to the bottom and found that God was not enough - she needed something more. So although she had said that God was everything to her and all she needed, she found otherwise when she reached rock bottom. The ‘something more’ she needed was more of Jesus, and it was through her ordeal that she came to truly rely upon and trust in Jesus, and come much closer to Him.
For several years preceding my descent into depression, I had been suffering from panic attacks. At this time, I did not know that panic attacks existed. They only occurred when I was about to make an important life decision. Due to erroneous teaching I had received as a child, and since the attacks ceased as soon as I stopped doing whatever it was that caused me to lose my peace, I concluded that God was removing my peace to guide me. I have met several Christians, also ignorant of the existence of panic attacks, who had reached the same conclusion about the panic attacks they were having in similar circumstances.
Pat taught me that God gives us peace. John 14:27 Jesus said “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Do not let your hearts be troubled.” It does not say “My lack of peace I give to guide you.” We need to make our decisions with wisdom based on God’s Word – and do so while dwelling in His peace. Isaiah 9:6 tells us that one of Jesus’ names is the Prince of Peace.
It was so ingrained in my thinking that the panic attacks were God's voice that I felt guilty and disobedient for no longer listening to them or doing what they demanded, eventhough I now knew that they were not God's voice at all. To deal with this irrational fear Pat taught me to pray, “What ever Your will is for my life, Lord, please bring it about - even without my obedience or cooperation. You are God; You are greater than me or the circumstances, so You are able to bring about Your will regardless.
In another session, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Pat discerned spirits of fear and terror at work in my life. She took authority over these and broke them in the name of Jesus. 2 Corinthians 10:4 ‘The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.’ Note this was only the beginning - I still needed to retrain my thought processes to no longer submit to fearful thoughts. Changing our thinking until it is in line with God’s word is a slow but very necessary process. 2 Corinthians 10:5 ‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’
During our prayer sessions, Pat also took me back to some of my childhood traumas. We invited Jesus to join us as we recalled those events. This is what I wrote in my diary after one of these prayer sessions:
8th August 1990 - It was really beautiful to see how Jesus healed me of my past hurts. On that occasion when I was seven, and hated and hit myself, Pat took me back to that time, and told me to look to Jesus and see how He responded. Jesus told me that He accepted me as I was, and gave me a great big hug, and told me that He loved me, and that I did not need to react that way and punish myself, and that he understood. Jesus’ touch brought deep inner healing.
Just before the above entry, I read the book “Self Help for Your Nerves” by Dr Claire Weekes. From there, recovery from depression was so rapid that by the 21st of October, Pat said I no longer required counselling. Although I was still suffering from many of depression’s side effects, it was time to get back into things. She encouraged me to join a home group and to return to active service within the church.
This is what I wrote in my diary following that final counselling session.
21/10/90 -
Pat said I am to pray every morning: “Lord, this is the day that you have made, You have put me where I am in it, therefore fulfil your created purpose for me in this day.” Every night I am to pray, “I thankyou Lord, I don't understand, but I believe.” Pat said to be in deep surrender to God really means to never look back with regret upon the past, nor forward to any wish in the future - comparing ourselves to what we used to be, or what we want to be, is a hindrance for resting in God's will. Each day I am to say: “I'm content to be who You made me to be, today. I'm content to be where You put me today, and I'm content to be how You made me to be today.”
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3 comments:
Powerful stuff, and so practical too. I love the way that you are walking your readers through each step of the process you went through in such a well thought out order in each post. Seems like Pat was anointed to give you just what you needed, and yes, it is so important to follow the Lord's leading with the counseling one seeks. I saw a counselor when I was eight-years-old, and she told me that anytime I felt angry to hit a pillow. She purposefully tried to bring out anger in me and make me angrily hit pillows. For many years, I struggled with "fits of rage," and I know one of the reasons is because of this poor advice. It was not until I found out how to deal with my hurt and pain in a calm and Godly manner that I began to be set free.
Such great advice, Peter, and one that many will benefit from for years to come.
OH, and that final prayer is a truly magnificent prayer of surrender, whether suffering from depression or not. Beautiful.
Hi Peter, What you are writing here is excellent, not only for your readers who may be in that pit of despair and your post just may be the light at the end of the tunnel they are searching for but also for you. I experienced some traumatic events and changes from a car wreck years back which had a domino effect starting with a traumatic brain injury. Depression, counseling, and the things you discuss I can relate too. Keep on keeping on my friend, and God Bless.
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